Category: choices

Evaluating the journey

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, calm, centering, change, choices, commitment, coping, habits, hope, life changes, perspective, Uncategorized

Looking over some of my original posts reminds me to take stock of how I am doing on my journey. Changing ourselves is one of the hardest things that we can do. We have to begin the change and then repeat it util it becomes habit. Not so easy.

Change-is-Scary

We struggle with the habits that are ingrained from years of practice. Once we begin trying to change it is so easy to fall back into the old routine. Since I began this journey I have made some positive changes that have stuck and some that have not.

My task now it to evaluate and decide if the things I haven’t changed are still relevant. If so it is time to tackle them. I find it easier to make small changes that lead me to the bigger one.

everything will be ok

I have not been meditating as I should and this is one I will tackle with intent. Why should I consider 5 or 10 minutes out of my day as a problem. From there I hope to grow back into a routine discarded years ago and see the result of spending time in “neutral.” As I said once before my long ago yoga instructor said when we are awake we are in forward gear, asleep in reverse and in meditation in neutral. Routinely meditating brought me calm and a sense of connection to the universe. I want to regain that.

Changing is hard and not for sissies. I won’t give up but keep on keeping on.

May you each have a serene weekend.

Tomorrow is a new day

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, anxiety, choices, coping, perspective, stress, wisdom

Tonight I am tired and not feeling well. I didn’t sleep well last night and now I am paying for it. Oh well, that’s how life is.

I also have been back with IBSD. Just when I think I won’t get it again it is back. Again, oh well.

Life always has ups and downs. It is important to power through the rough to get back to the good. Tomorrow is another day. The prayer I say each night says: “a new day, new perspective”. I plan to sleep well and start tomorrow fresh.

tomorrow-is-a-brand-new-day-today-might-not-have-20991541

 

 

 

 

That’s all I can manage without putting my head down and going to sleep. Sweet dreams to everyone and a good day tomorrow.

Don’t wall yourself in

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, balance, change, choices, Uncategorized

When I look back over my life I wonder what things I have not done because of thinking I couldn’t. I grew up caring greatly what other people thought. I don’t like conflict and would back away from things to avoid it. I always wanted peace and was the mediator in my family. I was afraid to make waves.

a

The funny thing is that in some ways I was an independent thinker. In my teen years everyone smoked. I didn’t. I took a stand about getting drunk ( although I would take a drink.) I never took drugs. I didn’t like feeling out of control.

However, those were things I did for myself. I never confronted others about their ideas. I just faded into the background. I was an only child and had trouble relating to those my own age. My primary experience was with adults. I found good friends in high school and in college where I finally felt I belonged.

I was not one to take risks. There are some risks I regret not facing. I always wanted to learn to paint but never tried since I assumed I couldn’t be best at it. My father encouraged me to try things and I never really stepped out of my comfort zone until I was married.

only you

Now I will try anything. (maybe not skydiving..I watched my husband jump with the military for years although  I have been on some planes I would rather have jumped out of.) I am not afraid to speak my mind and disagree when I want. I don’t care as much about the opinion of others and am unafraid to rock the boat. I still don’t like conflict but am unafraid to speak up rather than hide.

I am sorry it took me so many years to get to this point. Each of us is the only person who can hold us back. I am loving who I am now and having a great time exploring anything I want. Don’t wait to try things. There is no disgrace in failing. That’s how we learn.

Soul work

by worrylessjourney, posted in answers, balance, beauty, choices, compassion, contemplation, expectations, perspective, strength, unconditional love, wisdom

What is is to search for our own soul. (It doesn’t matter what you call it. It is our inner core…our best self.) How do we turn away from the things that our society has led us to believe are the ultimate good? When are we able to grow enough to cast aside the ideas that we have been taught from birth?

societal-expectations.jpg

Most of us who have spent our lives in western society have been taught to reach for things that are finite. We look to find joy and peace in things that fade. We want everything taken care of NOW! We are impatient and want pills to cure our ills that work fast. If we feel the slightest bit bored we want entertainment that distracts us from spending time with ourselves. We want to be as beautiful at 80 as we were at 25. The look of youth is the ultimate. We want things to feed our emptiness with…cars, jewelry, clothes, electronics, houses….anything to make us important. We want to seem important, looked up to and emulated. We think that these will be fulfilling. They won’t. Their rewards to us are ephemeral.

ephemeral

Turning away from these illusions and seeking the soul itself is a challenge. Can we go against society and understand that love and compassion and empathy and generosity are what matters? These are eternal.

mind-body-soul

Seek inside yourself for the things that really matter and pursue them.

The good

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, appreciate, balance, celebrate, choices, coping, gratitude, perspective, Uncategorized

If I think I have serious problems all I have to do is to look around me. I know that all of us have problems but there sure are some I wouldn’t want to have. One friend has a child with a brain tumor, another friend has had 2 recurrent brain tumors, I can look around me and there are people in pain with things unimaginable.

the good

I need to remember to be grateful. Maybe I need to start saying: thank you that I don’t have a brain tumor, thank you that my children, grandchildren and great grandchild are well. Thank you that I am not in a wheel chair. Thank you that I have a home to live in. Thank you that I have food to eat.

I could spend the rest of the day listing the things that are a gift. I don’t need to be saying “poor me” and feeling bad.

Focusing on the good things makes life a lot more joyous. Gratitude helps us. Sometimes we are sad that some of our own problems are difficult and it is ok to understand that but it is not ok to dwell on it. It doesn’t help.

good instead of bad

Find some way to keep track of the good things and focus on them.

The flawed plan

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, choices, consequences, frustration, Laugh

bad plan

Today has been quite a day. My son was supposed to come and help my husband fix a leaking pipe in our yard. Unfortunately, he hurt his knee and couldn’t help. My husband is pretty handy but forgets we are aging and decided to tackle it anyway. He also forgets he has had knee surgery and is not totally bendable. Bad idea.

He dug part of the hole where the pipes are and had to quit. I went to help and dug the rest of the hole. We then had to cut the old pipes away to fix the leak. The water was shut off at the main. Somehow that general cutoff for the water wouldn’t close completely although we didn’t know that at first. Since my husband couldn’t get down in the hole guess who did? He gave me a tool to cut the pipes which sort of worked….except I had to finally use a hacksaw to finish the three pipes. After taking away the cut pieces it was time to try and put new in,

pipes

The pipe from the water main just kept running….enough to fill the hole with water. Then to get to the pipes I had to bail water out of the hole (while some continued to run in). I was faster and we got the water down enough to see the pipes but water continued to run. This was the point where I called a halt and said “we are calling a plumber.” The only problem being that this is Sunday. We had to find some way to stop the flow for now and still be able to turn the water back on.

My husband managed to find a shutoff valve that he was able to glue onto the pipe spewing water and get it stopped. Water is back on and so far so good. The plumbers will be called in the morning. I think we started this whole scenario at about 1 pm and finished around 4 pm.

Thank goodness for a sense of humor. If I couldn’t laugh about this I would be ready to let loose with some very bad language. Now that I am out of the hole, showered and fed things look a lot better. This will go down in the family annals as what happens when you overreach.

Sense-of-Humor-864x486

We are both tired and still speaking to each other. Time to put this day behind us.

Lots of love

by worrylessjourney, posted in celebrate, choices, commitment, connections, love, understanding

all kinds of loveAny man who thinks he can describe love understands nothing about it. from The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson

Love really can’t be explained. It has so many facets. Advertisements want us to see love as passion and sex. It sells things from perfume to Viagra. Passion is important. It keeps humanity going but it is a minute part of love. There is so much more.

I talked a little about this in an old blog. The Greeks had a totally different way to look at love and did a much better job of seeing it.

We need to experience the full range of love in our lives. Explore your life and find the different ones that you have experienced or are experiencing. Broaden your thinking beyond what advertising wants us to see.

eight kinds of love

1. “Eros” or Erotic Love

This is what most of us think of when love is mentioned. We have narrowed love down to sexual attraction. This love can be like a flame that burns down and dies. We have lost so much by doing this. I think we know other kinds of love are out there but we push them to the back.

2. “Philia” or Affectionate Love

This is our love for our friends. If we are blessed to have friends who love us and that we love in return we should rejoice. This love leads to caring about others.

3. “Storge” or Familiar Love

This is love of family. We can actually have this love for long term friends who have become family to us. It is similar to Philia

4. “Ludus” or Playful Love

This is like the early stages of Eros but with something added to the sexual attraction. This can be flirting or playful affection.

5. “Mania” or Obsessive Love

Mania is a dangerous kind of love. This is the abusive partner who bit by bit isolates the loved on from all others. This is obsessive love.

6. “Pragma” or Enduring Love

This is the love of a couple who have spent a lifetime together. Their love has componets of all the positive loves. It cherishes familiar love and Philia. It includes Eros. It is a deep and constant love.

7. “Philautia” or Self Love

The Greeks understood that we have to learn to love ourselves in order to love others. This love is important to ground us as persons.

8. “Agape” or Selfless Love

Most of us see this love as the ultimate love. The love that Christ had for us. It is when we can love the unlovable.

The things we regret

by worrylessjourney, posted in choices, compassion, consequences, guilt, mistakes, Uncategorized
Following is the prayer we said today at Ash Wednesday service. I think that these words are something that we all need to hear. All of us have things to regret. I have printed it complete on my other blog.
have-regrets
We have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We have not forgiven others as we have been forgiven.
Our past unfaithfulness, the pride, envy, hypocrisy, and apathy that have infected our lives, we confess to you.
Our self-indulgent appetites and ways, and our exploitation of other people, we confess to you.
Our negligence in prayer and worship, and our failure to share the faith that is in us, we confess to you.
Our neglect of human need and suffering, and our indifference to injustice and cruelty, we confess to you.
Our false judgments, our uncharitable thoughts toward our neighbors, and our prejudice and contempt toward those who differ from us, we confess to you.
Our waste and pollution of your creation, and our lack of concern for those who come after us, we confess to you.

Almost 57 years

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, appreciate, celebrate, choices, connections, love, marriage, Uncategorized

Quite often I sit and wonder what I am going to write about. Most of the time something comes to me and I start with a thought and have no idea where it is going. Usually it works into something that what never what I thought in the beginning.

Today the only thing that came to mind is that in June my husband and I will have been married for 57 years. I can’t say that a single one of them have been bad. We never questioned that we belong together even on the off days. Ups and downs yes but never infidelity or desire to be with someone else. This quote from C.S. Lewis is fitting.

marriage-cs-lewis-quote

Love is worth it

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, choices, commitment, connections, love, Uncategorized

secretToday I did another mediation. It is always interesting to see what it is about. Sometimes it is someone owing someone else money. Sometimes it is member of a family arguing about something minor. Usually with families the problem is not what they have brought to us but lost in their past history. With cases like this it is usually not possible to resolve anything. There is too much water under the bridge.

Too often we see families divided over long standing hurts and disagreements. Families are not perfect but it makes me so sad to see them totally divided. We have so few people in life who love us unconditionally. What leaps to mind is my dogs. It seems we humans have more trouble understanding each other.  We are so ready to let good relationships fall away.

Keeping a family together is hard work just as keeping a marriage together. Feelings get hurt, people behave badly, things go wrong. Sometimes parents have tried their hardest to do the right things and sometimes the parents are damaged themselves and can’t parent well. No matter what happens having a loving family to support you in life is one of life’s greatest blessings.

loved and loving

 

Unconditional love is not easy but we do have to try. Sometimes is it impossible and we have to move on. When that happens my hope is that a new relationship can be formed using the lessons learned from the past. Being loved and loving is worth the effort.