Month: March 2019

The change of aging

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, aging, anxiety, connections, coping, emotions, friends, sadness, Uncategorized

I have been overwhelmed lately by my friends crises. When I think about the things that others are facing tears come to my eyes. If only we could fix whatever we wanted. Sadly, life is not that way.

As we get older we have to face the reality of others traveling with us are also aging. With age come health issues. We cannot live forever. I know this and yet it still hurts to see those we care about struggling. I tried to express some of this in this poem.

aging-is-not-lost-youth-but-a-new-stage-of-opportunity-and-strength-its-a-di-0d2b7866058da1dd7ec4aa7d4024fc53

 

Aging Change

Life doesn’t last

forever

we know

yet watching

as time

erodes

friendships

descent

into pain

how to

absorb

loss

loss of abilities

bring

aches

and yet

we

continue

to love

to grow

to love

until

the end

And beyond

Lots of love

by worrylessjourney, posted in celebrate, choices, commitment, connections, love, understanding

all kinds of loveAny man who thinks he can describe love understands nothing about it. from The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson

Love really can’t be explained. It has so many facets. Advertisements want us to see love as passion and sex. It sells things from perfume to Viagra. Passion is important. It keeps humanity going but it is a minute part of love. There is so much more.

I talked a little about this in an old blog. The Greeks had a totally different way to look at love and did a much better job of seeing it.

We need to experience the full range of love in our lives. Explore your life and find the different ones that you have experienced or are experiencing. Broaden your thinking beyond what advertising wants us to see.

eight kinds of love

1. “Eros” or Erotic Love

This is what most of us think of when love is mentioned. We have narrowed love down to sexual attraction. This love can be like a flame that burns down and dies. We have lost so much by doing this. I think we know other kinds of love are out there but we push them to the back.

2. “Philia” or Affectionate Love

This is our love for our friends. If we are blessed to have friends who love us and that we love in return we should rejoice. This love leads to caring about others.

3. “Storge” or Familiar Love

This is love of family. We can actually have this love for long term friends who have become family to us. It is similar to Philia

4. “Ludus” or Playful Love

This is like the early stages of Eros but with something added to the sexual attraction. This can be flirting or playful affection.

5. “Mania” or Obsessive Love

Mania is a dangerous kind of love. This is the abusive partner who bit by bit isolates the loved on from all others. This is obsessive love.

6. “Pragma” or Enduring Love

This is the love of a couple who have spent a lifetime together. Their love has componets of all the positive loves. It cherishes familiar love and Philia. It includes Eros. It is a deep and constant love.

7. “Philautia” or Self Love

The Greeks understood that we have to learn to love ourselves in order to love others. This love is important to ground us as persons.

8. “Agape” or Selfless Love

Most of us see this love as the ultimate love. The love that Christ had for us. It is when we can love the unlovable.

The things we regret

by worrylessjourney, posted in choices, compassion, consequences, guilt, mistakes, Uncategorized
Following is the prayer we said today at Ash Wednesday service. I think that these words are something that we all need to hear. All of us have things to regret. I have printed it complete on my other blog.
have-regrets
We have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We have not forgiven others as we have been forgiven.
Our past unfaithfulness, the pride, envy, hypocrisy, and apathy that have infected our lives, we confess to you.
Our self-indulgent appetites and ways, and our exploitation of other people, we confess to you.
Our negligence in prayer and worship, and our failure to share the faith that is in us, we confess to you.
Our neglect of human need and suffering, and our indifference to injustice and cruelty, we confess to you.
Our false judgments, our uncharitable thoughts toward our neighbors, and our prejudice and contempt toward those who differ from us, we confess to you.
Our waste and pollution of your creation, and our lack of concern for those who come after us, we confess to you.

Time for checking in

by worrylessjourney, posted in enlightening, learn, listen, perspective, think, understanding, viewpoint

roundtoitTomorrow is Ash Wednesday for us Christians. I actually love Lent. For me, Lent is a time for reflection…a time to assess where I am. I usually plan to take on something as well as give up something. I find it more difficult to take on something. I usually begin reading a book that I should have read already. I have books on my shelf that I meant to read but never got around to it. I have pulled two books from my shelf and would like to get through both of them. We’ll see.

Taking time out to reflect can be scary. It is possible to find gaps in our lives and thinking. We may uncover the flaws. This can be upsetting. Nevertheless this is work I need to do even if it finds the things I need to change.

However, it can also be a time of affirmation. It is important to also look at the good things and see where I am gaining in knowledge and strength. It will show me where my accumulated wisdom has helped me to make changes in myself and to help others.

reflection and growth

This all sounds very grand. But 40 days is a big block of time and I want to use it well. I am glad that my particular faith sets this time aside. If not I would probably skip it altogether.

Almost 57 years

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, appreciate, celebrate, choices, connections, love, marriage, Uncategorized

Quite often I sit and wonder what I am going to write about. Most of the time something comes to me and I start with a thought and have no idea where it is going. Usually it works into something that what never what I thought in the beginning.

Today the only thing that came to mind is that in June my husband and I will have been married for 57 years. I can’t say that a single one of them have been bad. We never questioned that we belong together even on the off days. Ups and downs yes but never infidelity or desire to be with someone else. This quote from C.S. Lewis is fitting.

marriage-cs-lewis-quote

Fired into beauty

by worrylessjourney, posted in appearance, beauty, calm, coping, empathy, frustration, perspective, strength

swan 2

This is been a strange week. For the first time in forever I didn’t write at all for two different days. Both times life was overwhelming and it just didn’t work. For someone who is retired it seems strange that I have had very little time to do anything. Things are slacking off now and I hope to see a more normal pace. Is there any such thing as normal?

Have you ever noticed how some people seem to have one trauma after another and others seem to drift through life unscathed? I just want to shake my fist at God and say unfair! unfair! It just doesn’t seem right. To make it worse sometimes the ones who have just floated through are also the worst people.

Looking at these things from the outside is probably not logical. Who can really know what is going on underneath. It’s like the saying about the swan. Serene on the surface but paddling madly underneath.

Glaze_BeforeAfter

Maybe the people who have been through the fire have been formed into beautiful vessels. Most of the ones I know have so much more compassion and ability to care than others. With all their trials they can still support and care for those around them. You can actually feel the vibrancy of their empathy. It radiates from within.

No one knows what form us. Some can be broken by events and some make finer. When that happens it is a beautiful thing to see.

Testing Christianity

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, change, connections, consequences, expectations, hope, life changes, perspective

It is so sad that Christianity is struggling today. There have been so many issues not confined to one group. The Catholics have been fighting sex scandals for years and this seems to be the most explosive. The United Methodists made decisions recently that may split the denomination. Episcopalians meeting in England were distressed to have same sex spouses barred from the proceedings. These are all mainline churches.

testing

The less united denominations don’t seem to have suffered as much since members who disagree just move elsewhere. However, over the years, they have suffered from what seems to be leaders who took advantage of them.

time for change

Christianity has been tested before. Usually it seems to help people assess what it means to them and what it is really about. The way it looks after this testing we can’t know. It may be radically different. Hopefully people will look deeply into their hearts and draw closer to the deeper meanings of that faith. All I know is that testing usually results in change. Hopefully for the better.