I wish that this quiet time away from the busy world was one that I could enjoy but not to be. My husband is still in care. He’s physically all right but still not mentally well. He is better. It is just so hard not knowing how this will all come out.
I don’t know if I will have the man I knew or someone else. Things will work out but the uncertainty of it all is harrowing. At this point the virus is of less concern to me. During this time not only has the world outside of my own surroundings changed but also inside my circle. Many people are caught in this. I am not the only one struggling. Some have more grievous things to bear.
I seem to do really well for a while and then I falter. I suppose this will continue until there are some answers forthcoming. Waiting has never been my strong suit. I am certainly learning to endure patience.
It will be different for us when we come out of this. I pray there will not be another pandemic coming any time soon and that we can be better prepared. Everyone is blaming everyone else the world over but I remember hearing some words of Pope Francis pointing out that if we all blame someone else them we have to accept that all of us are to blame. There are certainly judgement errors aplenty to share.
We must change. We must understand the nature of the damage we have done to the earth. Soon it will be too late and we must live with the guilt about what we are leaving our great grandchildren. We have to learn to live together over the whole world or there is no hope.
Another day in this upside down world. I have had some news of my husband which assures me that he is comfortable and being treated but will be there a while longer. Tough news but at least some answers are forthcoming.
The world for most of us remains surreal. Safely at home but having to clean groceries or leave them in the garage for several days. I am only cleaning the things needed immediately and with just me those are not many. I guess not spending much money is a blessing.
Life is certainly different and certainly interesting. One has no idea what tomorrow will bring. It helps us to take stock of what is really important in our lives. I am so grateful for all the friends and loved ones who have called, texted, or emailed.
I am also grateful for all the kind words from my Word Press friends. This is a wonderful community and helps me not feel so alone.
Today was not a good day. I had to admit my husband to the hospital. Not with Covid 19. I pray they can get him well and out before he gets exposed to it.
At the moment they don’t know the diagnosis but he has an altered mental status. He’s just not the same. It all happened over a few days and was not getting better with meds. They will keep him and God willing he will be home soon.
Things have been difficult here in the last few days. I hope we are on the up side. It is pretty scary to think that in the middle of covid 19 I would have to take my husband to the hospital. That is the last thing I want to do. But if that is what it takes to get him well then there is not choice. However, for now each day seems a little better but it is slow.
Today I was wondering what it must have been like the day that the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. One day there was war “over there” and suddenly it had come home. What fear and panic must have been felt by everyone. We are facing something not at all fun but it will pass long before WW2 did. They lived with it every day for years.
They were strong. They had endurance, faith and hope. We have the same things available to us. Whatever we have to do to keep on is what we will do.
Since my husband developed this UTI life has not only been abnormal because of Covid 19 but also because of dealing with someone who can’t think straight. It is better but not totally gone. God bless all those who live with an Alzheimer’s patients. I really don’t know how you do it.
The anxiety has taken its toll on my mental health and my body. IBSD has flared up after being gone for quite a long time. I know that all of this will end but I want to hurry it up. Living as we do we are mostly alone. We have some family here but they are unable to help much. It is not the day to day help I miss but the comfort of hugs and contact with friends. I am a person who knows the comfort of human touch. I count on it. It is what I miss the most. With my husband not well I feel very alone.
This is my time to spend time with God and that has been helping. I also keep in mind my grandmother whose favorite quote was “and this too shall pass.” She had such strength and faith.
There are many who are suffering much more that I and I hope they can find the resources they need, stay well, and survive the physical and financial crisis. There will be many to help in the days to come and it is up to us to do what we can.
Remember my favorite quote:
‘ALL WILL BE WELL, AND ALL MANNER OF THINGS WILL BE WELL’
I was not able to write last night. I was mentally and physically exhausted. It was a day to delete from memory.
It started out fine. I actually worked in the yard for a few hours. Took a shower, fixed lunch. It was then that I realized my husband was not all there. His conversation was totally disoriented. Having seen this once before I had an idea what was wrong. He is 82 and as we age if we get a urinary tract infection it can make us out of it. Sooo…I tried to get him to go with me to the local drop-in Dr. We have been there before with great success.
Unfortunately my sweet man had switched into Dr. Hyde. He had 4 insulin pens on his desk and was telling me they were wrong. He yelled at me when I tried to get him to go to the Dr. My son was at work and he can usually get him to listen but it didn’t work. I finally ended up calling EMS.
The two young men who came were really nice. They checked him over and agreed with me that UTI was the most likely culprit. They also felt that the drop-in doc would be great as we should stay away from the hospital with all the virus around. They also could not convince him to go. Then I had a AHA moment. He always listens to his primary physician and will do anything he says. His office was closed but I had him paged and he called back immediately. He told my husband to go with me….of course he listened to him and the paramedics went with me to get him in the car and off we went.
The Doc checked him out and he did have a UTI and now has the medicine and is even some better this morning.
Don’t want to relive yesterday but today is already better! YEA!
Nothing like just getting ready to write and the power goes off. In addition to dealing with The Virus we were then without power. WOW! I think we have made Mother Nature mad. We are under a tornado watch. Obviously the power is back on but who knows when it will go again.
Today I have been thinking about those people who are sheltering at home and are alone. It must be worrisome to not be connected to others. I decided that I need to being calling the ones that I know just to touch base and share a friendly greeting. There are some people we know who we only see at church and lunch after. I want to reach out and see if there is anything that they need. I know we can’t help much but I do have a son and grandson here who would help if needed….especially to run errands.
I heard today that there are now people getting prescriptions for Hydroxychlorquine to stash away in case they need it. They are getting doctor friends to write the RXs. How selfish can some people be?
I hope that there are more people out there who are concerned about their friends and neighbors than those that hoard. I hope that somehow everyone learns that this quote is true.
As a nurse there is one thing that I have learned well….not everything can be fixed. Often people grow up with the idea that there is nothing that can’t be solved in some way. Working in the hospital it is evident that things go wrong, people die, life is not perfect.
We live in a world where we expect everything to be fixed. Get a headache take a pill. Go to the doctor..get a diagnosis..get fixed. We don’t want to wait for anything. We want everything to be done at once.
Because of that this time is a real eye opener for some. I can’t go to the store and expect to find everything I need. I can’t hop in my car and go out to a restaurant. Everything I want is not available. What a shock.
I was born a year before Pearl Harbor. I don’t remember much about the war as I was very young but I do remember rationing. You couldn’t get everything you wanted. Gas was limited so you couldn’t go where you wanted all the time. We mostly stayed home. My father was working on the pentagon (construction contractor) and was exempt from going to war. This grieved him and he tried several times to go but to no avail.
My parents built a house shortly before the war began. They had extra rooms and took in war wives whose husband were overseas. They lived with us throughout the war. That was the environment I grew in. We were comfortable but certainly weren’t able to choose the life we wanted to live. I was blessed with a sense of extended family and lots of love but we lived in frightening times. Even as a small child I could sense that angst.
This time reminds me of those days. Something from my distant memory pulls feelings from the past. Those feelings are attached to the way things are now. Just like that time we can’t fix it. We just have to wait it out and live with whatever comes afterward.
Remember…patience, patience and waiting. It can’t be fixed but it can be endured and lived beyond.
“All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.”
― Julian of Norwich
Another day of feeling isolated. No matter how many times we talk with people electronically it doesn’t take the place of face to face. This is one of the things that has worried me about the electronic communication generation. I worried about them not knowing how to communicate in any other way. Now look at us. We have all have had to do the same thing.
I hope when this is over that we will understand how crucial person to person contact is. Humans are meant to be communal. We don’t do well without others. We need human touch. Children who don’t have it from birth have serious problems including attachment disorder.
I hope that we will learn from this isolation and appreciate the contacts we will have later. Take the time to enjoy the extra time we have and know that “this too shall pass.” And God bless those whose lives are put on the line for us each day. They are busier and at risk.
Ahhhhh! Today I worked in the garden. Just being in the fresh air and doing something ordinary gave me a new lease on life. Good physical work with my mind concentrated on the job. It really felt good.
I read the post today from https://fracturedfaithblog.com/2020/03/24/coronavirus-northern-ireland-3/ and learned that they are restricted in their outdoor time. I am so thankful that we can spend as much time outdoors as we want. Of course we are in a neighborhood with lots of room to move about without coming within yards of anyone else. I would really be stressed if I had to stay indoors. I feels such compassion for those in New York City who are also trapped….usually in very small apartments.
There are always people who are worse off than we are. Each of us has restrictions with this virus but each place is different. The only burdens we bear are the ones around us. I have talked before about not wanting other’s problems. This is a perfect example. As an older couple we are staying in except for food and medicine. Many do not have to restrict themselves so much. I don’t feel put upon because of this. It is our own cross to bear and we are grateful to have lived this long and pray for many more days.
I am sure that we all hope that these restrictions don’t last for a really long time. Most of us can live with a few weeks or more but months would be horrible.
Please take care, stay healthy, and from the nurse. WASH, WASH, WASH YOUR HANDS!