The stress of the last few months caused me to finally have a melt down. I was suddenly afraid that I will not be able to keep my husband and I from contracting covid. He is due home tomorrow and covid would be a disaster for him.
I realized that this falling apart was due to the extreme stress that has been happening and that I was due to crash at some point. You might say I was entitled to break down. the good part is that with medication and my daughter being here I have recovered and am again moving on.
There becomes a point when things compile for such a long time that just letting all the anxiety out helps you to free yourself. I am getting stronger again day by day. This long situation with covid has strained all of us. For me it was on top of struggling so hard to find out what was actually wrong with my husband and being able to do something about it.
When things bottle up for too long we will explode like a volcano. The pressure can just be too be too much. My daughter pointed out that having someone here made it possible for me to feel safe letting go.
Now I will be able to focus on helping my husband recover and get us both through this irritating crisis. Life will be good again. Different but good.
This is going to be a simple post.Since last Thursday I have been with my husband at the mayo clinic.He has been quite ill With an infection In his knee replacement. He also had some mild congestive heart failure.That has now resolved And the only issue is the infection in his leg.This is a serious infection and will Require Long-term Antibiotic therapy.We should be able to go home And have his therapy completed at home.I ask For prayers for his healing And that the infection is able to be cleared.I have missed my word press family During these few days and hope that I can keep up better.
I was wakened in the middle of the night by my Alexa light blinking at me. I asked it about the notification and was told that we had flash flood warnings. We are not in that area and I wasn’t thrilled but the light woke me.
It is amazing how much we all count on technology. I love Alexa and use it for all sorts of things from meditation to “what is the time, weather?’ I wouldn’t call myself addicted but it sure is handy.
When the power goes out we realize how much we depend on electricity in our homes. We are blessed to have a generator since we are in a hurricane area. It doesn’t work for the whole house but the parts that it does make storms livable.
Hurricane season is upon us and after what happened a few years ago I am not looking forward to it. I have to say though that I would rather than than a tornado. At least we can have time to get out of the way. Property may be lost but lives can be spared. I pray that this hurricane season doesn’t devastate anyone. Nature can be so unforgiving.
Since we have had such a difficult spring it would be nice to have summer and fall to recover.
Every day is different. Today was a better than good day. That’s the way life is. You never know what is coming next. It is the uncertainty that gets us.
Not knowing answers to problems is the thing that is hard to take. I don’t think anyone likes it. When we can see the path in front of us life seems so much easier. We just want someone to turn the lights on the path so we can see ahead.
However, there are so many times in life when that is not possible. No matter what we always live without knowing what is ahead. The difference is we think that we do. We can see the day ahead with all its plans and we think that is what will happen. the truth is there are no guarantees. It’s funny how we perceive that we have control but really don’t. It is an important lesson learned when we realize that.
I hate sharing that things have been difficult at my house but I will share some of my thoughts. It seems it is necessary for me to write since that is my outlet.
My husband has not really recovered from his hospital stay. Initially his mental status was almost back to where he was but that has not lasted. He wavers from day to day. Some days are good and some are not.
The virus has made seeing doctors and determining the problem almost impossible. We move ahead one day and fall back the next. The hospital lost some of his ID’s and we just managed to replace his military ID thanks to the wonderful staff at the nearest post. They made getting a new one so easy! One thing accomplished.
As we manage appointments and see doctors as possible we will get closer to some resolution. Knowing what is going on will be so helpful. This day to day fluctuation is so frustrating.
We are keeping on keeping on and I know that someday there will be answers. This would happen when there is so little to do about it. If only we could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know there is a light!
For those of us that are at high risk for getting this virus this situation is causing more and more concern. I now have a smoke alarm beeping up high where I will need to get a tall ladder to stop it. I have tried changing these before and I can never get them back in. Since we can’t go out and we can’t let anyone in I will just pull the battery out and leave it. This is really a minor problem but I wonder how many folks like us are starting to face issues much more serious than this.
I am very able to climb the ladder but there are so many who can’t without risk of falling. What other home problems are the elderly facing that may be dangerous? We are certainly learning what a pathogen like this can do. I do worry about what is next.
The days slip by and all seem more or less the same. I once read something that said change things up each day to make them stand out. Then it will seem that things are more interesting. It may only be driving to work a different way. That made sense. When I was still working I sometimes had no idea how I got to work. I knew I drove there but that’s about all.
We do have to be intentional about paying attention to life even when the days can blend into one another. Yesterday I baked bread and today I worked in the yard. That helps me remember those two days. If I just sit and watch TV then nothing is different.
Even in this covid time take time to make changes each day. Do something that makes that day memorable. It doesn’t have to be spectacular but just something to mark the day.
When we drift into same, same, same it is easy to feel depressed and anxious. Just a walk outside to watch the birds will help.
Most of us are suffering from cabin fever or worse. We so need human touch. For those of us who are completely alone it is a devastating time. It is easy to fall into periods of depression and anxiety. We are not meant to be alone. One of the worst punishments for prisoners is spending a long time in isolation.
I am going to suggest something that sounds totally ridiculous. You have to hug yourself. I am talking about physically putting your arms around yourself and squeezing tight. Stay that way for a while and repeat often. As strange as it seems it will help.
I wish that this quiet time away from the busy world was one that I could enjoy but not to be. My husband is still in care. He’s physically all right but still not mentally well. He is better. It is just so hard not knowing how this will all come out.
I don’t know if I will have the man I knew or someone else. Things will work out but the uncertainty of it all is harrowing. At this point the virus is of less concern to me. During this time not only has the world outside of my own surroundings changed but also inside my circle. Many people are caught in this. I am not the only one struggling. Some have more grievous things to bear.
I seem to do really well for a while and then I falter. I suppose this will continue until there are some answers forthcoming. Waiting has never been my strong suit. I am certainly learning to endure patience.
It will be different for us when we come out of this. I pray there will not be another pandemic coming any time soon and that we can be better prepared. Everyone is blaming everyone else the world over but I remember hearing some words of Pope Francis pointing out that if we all blame someone else them we have to accept that all of us are to blame. There are certainly judgement errors aplenty to share.
We must change. We must understand the nature of the damage we have done to the earth. Soon it will be too late and we must live with the guilt about what we are leaving our great grandchildren. We have to learn to live together over the whole world or there is no hope.