Category: prejudice

Do we know what is moral?

by worrylessjourney, posted in medical, morality, perspective, prejudice, sadness

I an living in Austin, Texas. It has been a real learning experience. There has been so much going on in the whole country. There is so much discord and separations that have made all of us become US/THEM. There is no longer an US in this country. I don’t know if all the conflict began with the issue of abortion but it is certainly a major part of it.

I don’t know what your views on abortion are. Each of us is entitled to our belief and it has become a major button to push. Still I am not sure how many people are aware of the extremes that is has reached here.

Many months ago there were two women who ran into problems with the law. One woman had an ectopic pregnancy and for those who are not familiar this is when the egg is fertilized in the fallopian tube and not in the uterus. This is a very dangerous problem which can end in the woman’s death. This pregnancy has to be aborted. The baby CANNOT survive to full term where it is and if not operated on the result with be the death of the fetus but also the death of the mother. The doctors here followed the law and sent the woman home because they could do nothing within the law. I know somehow the woman received care (I don’t know if she left the state or what happened).

Now for the second case: a woman showed up at the hospital carrying a dead baby. Again the doctors could do nothing. She was sent home. She became septic. I do not know how the issue was resolved but I know she survived.

Just a few days ago there was a third case that made the papers. Another woman was carrying a dead baby and the hospital could do nothing to help. She became septic and died leaving the husband with another child to care for by himself.

I sincerely hope that someone is considering the state responsible for these women and their problems. This is what happens when we legislate medical care. Especially when women are the only ones being abused and it is abuse. If I were of childbearing age I would move somewhere that the law doesn’t allow women to be treated in this way. This is what has happened in this country where abuse is not only allowed but is demanded by law.

I do wonder if once again women are being targeted as being less than. I wonder what would happen if men were being targeted.

I have neither heard or seen any other media conversations about these three cases escept in the paper here. There may be more cases that have not even made the press.

Abortion is a moral topic. It is as complicated as Solomon offering to divide the baby in two. I don’t know what the answers are but some of the current solutions allow people to die. I don[‘t see this as any kind of morality.

Sorry about the rant but I had to get this off my mind.

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Who is “less than” ??

by worrylessjourney, posted in abuse, aggravations, aging, Discernment, prejudice

Writing yesterday I alluded to the fact that being in a residence for independent seniors brings to the front of our view that we are at risk to be ignored by everyone else. Now by saying that I don’t mean that our families just walk away and leave us. Mostly that is not the case. But the reality is that we are deemed “less than.” Less brains, less physical ability and less important. We are the ignored minority.

I love the poems by Ogden Nash and this idea brought to mind a poem that brings out this point very clearly.

Old Men
by Ogden Nash
 
People expect old men to die,
They do not really mourn old men.
Old men are different. People look
At them with eyes that wonder when…
People watch with unshocked eyes;
But the old men know when an old man dies.

This is so very true.. and yet the collection of wisdom, knowledge and ideas here is amazing. We are blessed with so many who have designed things now used by everyone, were professors in just about every field of endeavor. written books both fiction and non-fiction. I could go on and on. We are still alive, thinking, giving, sharing and loving.

In a more alert world we would be considered the “institutional memory” that is so important. It helps to keep us from making the same mistakes over and over.

We are here! We are useful! We are wise! Ignore us and you will be the ones who are “less than”

Watch out judging others

by worrylessjourney, posted in aggravations, comparisons, frustration, habits, judging, prejudice, viewpoint

It has always fascinated me that people who I know and who condemn any kind of sexuality other than heterosexuals can sin so freely in other ways. Adultery seems to be fine, hatred, unkindness, greed….actually many of the 7 deadly sins are fine. Sexual differences are the one unforgivable sin. My aunt used to call this “swallow an elephant, choke on a gnat.”

judging others

They seem to feel that some sins are ok and others are not. A kind of hypocrisy that I find particularly abhorrent. It is so easy to condemn others and blithely  carry on with our hurtful ways.

Judgement is mine says the Lord and the rest of us need to back off.

Perspective

by worrylessjourney, posted in appearance, balance, change, choices, coping, opinion, perspective, prejudice, viewpoint

 

Often I think that perspective is everything. How we view things is our reality. This is hard to learn and to realize that the world functions that way. One of the most difficult things to do is to change someone’s perspective. Our prejudices and our beliefs come from there. They are so ingrained that I don’t think we even know what is creating our world view.

The dictionary says perspective is:

a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.
“most guidebook history is written from the editor’s perspective”
synonyms: outlook, view, viewpoint, point of view, standpoint, position, stand, stance,  angle, slant, attitude, frame of mind, frame of reference, approach, way of looking/thinking, vantage point, interpretation

When you read the synonyms you can see the far reaching effects of this. Sometimes it is worth our while to made changes to our perspective. If we see everything from a negative point of view then life will be negative.

boat-land

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” Abraham Lincoln

Perspective can change your life.

“AHA” a new tool for me

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, choices, connections, enlightening, gratitude, perspective, prejudice, understanding

I didn’t write yesterday as I came home exhausted from taking a class on Community Conferencing. This is a program that works with the school, courts, police, to deflect teens with offences to a resolution process instead of getting them into the system. The trainers told us that where they are teens who have been through this process are 60% less likely to re-offend. I will see how this works for me.

One of the people who was also training told us about a way she looks at people’s differences and how they live. She broke it down into this.

Tolerance: She is tolerant of how others live and their opinions.

Acceptance: She will accept that the way may not be her way.

Approval: This is where she steps back and feels she doesn’t have to approve.

The-aha-moment

 

This makes so much sense to me. I may not agree with you but I can be tolerant about your life and your opinions and accept that you want to live that way but I don’t have to approve of it.

This is a way to break it down into pieces and be a tolerant and accepting person without agreeing with what it is. There are people who I love but cannot approve of their lifestyle. For me, it is usually when I see it as hurtful to them or others.

This may not work or help some people but for me It was sort of an “aha” moment. Another tool to put in my toolbox and help me understand and move on.

With thanks to Yolandra for this insight!

Decisions, decisions!

by worrylessjourney, posted in answers, change, consequences, decisions, habits, mistakes, perspective, prejudice

The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward. Amelia Earhart

decisions-research

One of my husbands favorite things to say is “no decision is a decision.” He believes that we should gather all the information we can at the time and then move forward. To just do nothing is actually a decision. This thinking makes complete sense when it comes from one who spent two years in combat. No decision could kill you.

Sometimes our decision is right sometimes not. It doesn’t really matter. As they say “hindsight is 20/20”. Most of the time we must just gather as much knowledge as is available and move on. We often blame ourselves later when the choices become clear but remember there were things you didn’t know at the beginning.

The thing we don’t always do is to gather information. Yesterday I wrote about irrational decisions. We are so easily swayed by a bias from our life history. Not considering all the options is heading toward a mistake. To see clearly we must know our own sets of bias and be able to push them into the background. It is so easy to jump to a conclusion and not take the time to see the whole picture.

I often have to stop myself from an “assumption” and you know where that gets us. The word “assume” tells it all.

assume

Decisions are not just about major things but can also be snap judgements.  It is so easy to make up our minds about other people without all the information. We can lose out on some great connections this way.

Decisions may not always be easy and we will make mistakes just don’t beat  yourself up about it. We have to accept our messes and move one. To feel guilty and dwell on them does no good.

For a better world

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, answers, belief, change, labels, misunderstanding, perspective, prejudice, the past

In some of my recent reading I came across an interesting fact. As a Christian I have learned about original sin….the sin that came from the mistakes of Adam and Eve. However, the history of this idea was not originally connected to Jesus. It was not know in the very early church. It was not a doctrine accepted by either the Jewish faith or Islam. It is another doctrine that was hammered out when the early church was struggling to keep some cohesiveness of ideas.

how_to_teach_fact_and_opinion.png

Several communities of Christians developed ideas that others saw as heading the wrong way and tried to wipe out what they considered heresy. The struggles led to the Council of Nicea where many church fathers sat down to come to some agreement. Many doctrines of Christianity came from this meeting.

The interesting thing to me is that things we have been taught as “truth” may have a different beginning than we realized. It shows how what we learn from those around us can be colored by their viewpoint.

Reaching back into time to find the history of concepts we have learned may bring a different perspective entirely.

Prejudices_quote_ZMSS

Not too long ago I saw a program that had people tell about their backgrounds and explore some of the prejudices they had about those from different cultures. countries, and races. They then had their DNA tested and it was interesting to discover that many of them had DNA in common with those they thought were different from them. It was, for them, a wake-up call to re-examine what they had been taught.

Never be afraid to explore the birth of customs and ideas. We may find that their beginnings are not what we thought. If, by doing so, we could discard some of our learned prejudices we may create a better world.