Older and Wiser

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.  Anon

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We will never know what is coming next. At least I don’t want to know. Not knowing can be scary as in the quote above but knowing may be worse. Life moves ahead and what comes will change us one way or another. It is no good to stress over it.

Most of the things that I have learned from the experiences of my life have been used later for something unplanned. For me, life has taught me things that can be shared with someone or used in some way myself.

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Just like the “Ugly Duckling” what comes may be a huge surprise and who knows ….it may be wonderful. Even if it isn’t it may be useful and help us to grow. I don’t know if life has made me better (since I can’t judge me) but it has certainly made me wiser.

Who will win?

For the last few days I have been suffering with what I thought was the beginnings of a bad cold. Runny, runny, runny nose, sneezing, coughing and feeling bad. That started three days ago. Today I feel better. Makes no sense. It it were a cold I would still be coughing etc. for at least another week. I am grateful but also a little confused. It is like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I hope I continue feeling better.

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It’s funny how starting something like a cold can mess up our thinking. With Coronavirus out there we are more aware than usual of what a virus can do. My husband and I are older and this is the first time that it has made me feel more vulnerable. I am not used to that. I am a healthy active person and am seldom sick. It feels weird to be in a group that is more at risk.

This virus scare has awakened all of us to how vulnerable we humans are. We have lived with the idea that we are supreme. There is nothing out there tougher than we are. Well, guess what? Something that can only be seen with an electron microscope can take us out.

It certainly puts things into perspective. A while ago someone said that the insects will outlive us. Now it sounds like it may the viruses. We don’t take care of ourselves and the earth around us. We eat poorly, don’t exercise, abuse our bodies and then wonder why we are not well.

It’s time to rethink things. We have to pay attention to ourselves, others (animals, insects, bacteria, whatever) and understand the consequences of our mistreatment of everything.

We actually prefer our own stuff

I am not sure if I have written about this before but I wasn’t going to look through everything.

A while ago I went to a conference where the speaker asked everyone to write their worst problem on paper…no names….and pass it up to the front. She asked us if we would want to come up and draw out a problem that we would then be responsible for. Needless to say there we no takers.

We all consider our problems to be the worst. We have lived with them and struggled but we know them. We understand them. We really don’t want to take on someone else’s stuff.

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I guess the lesson we learn is that we each deal best with what we already have and know about. Maybe we can take heart from that.

Tell the truth??? or not??

Truth said in love can hurt before it heals. Unknown

Sometimes we know something that we feel needs to be told. It is something that we know will be a surprise (not always a good one). It is something that could be devastating. What do we decide to do?

This can be an awful decision. It is important to look carefully at why we would disclose. It is possible that we might never be forgiven. It is possible that any friendship will be gone. Do we want to tell for us or for them? Will the disclosure be worth the pain it could inflict? We absolutely have to look closely at ourselves and think about the outcome. Sometimes revealing something it not necessary in the long run. Some times the repercussions will be too painful and can be unnecessary.

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Taking the time to think everything through is most important. Hurting someone should not be done lightly. Think before you do!

Live now!

rilke quoteI have this quote hanging where I can see it when at my desk. It is so powerful. There is always so much that we don’t or can’t understand and we can chew on it over and over. Rilke says that we have to let it go and gradually we will be able to live into the answers.

If we persist chewing on them we can’t move forward. We have to LIVE today. We can’t be obsessing over things we don’t understand. Let it go.

Small steps

The small things matter. Many times we look at the “plan” or the “big Picture” and forget that there are many steps to get there. Then we get discouraged when it takes time to come to fruition.

Nothing is accomplished without the small steps. Nothing gets done without us putting in the work. To get an education we have to study, to learn a skill we have to practise. Nothing worthwhile is done without work.

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The small steps get us there.

Hospice: a hope for peace

Hope. Not a tangible things but real none the less. Hope can transform us. Help us to live each day. I think that’s why Emily Dickinson called it “the thing with feathers.” It can make us fly.

I know that some times there doesn’t seem to be any hope but I wonder if it has to do with what we hope for. As a nurse I have seen patients who don’t have a chance to survive what they are going through. No hope as they or family can see and hope for life is not there. There may be a different kind of hope. Hope that we find in the programs from Hospice. Hope that death can be better than the alternative.

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I don’t know how I got so deep into this topic but I have seen those for whom death would be a blessing. It’s not the plan any of us want but some day it will come. I “hope” that when it does we can find acceptance, love and a peaceful end.

Coping

Life can be challenging. Sometimes things become overwhelming and we feel as if we are drowning. The feeling that one more thing will put you over the edge is awful. When that happens we have to use any tools we have in our tool box to bring us back from the edge. Many ideas have been brought up in the blogs on Word Press and I have tried many of them. Some work and some don’t. The good news is that we can try different things and see what works for us.

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My granddaughter says that every school should teach Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. She says that all children need to learn the skills that are taught in that program. I suspect  she is right. There are so many issues cropping up with children today that we have to change something.

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I feel that I was lucky to have learned many coping skills from my mother but I am not sure that many people have that advantage today. We are such a society of quick fix that we don’t learn to cope with anything. One of the doctors that I worked for said that what people want is to come to a drive-in window and have the doctor reach out and say “heal” and it will be done.

Coping is learned when faced with real life. If we think that nothing should ever go wrong we are much mistaken. I worry about people who have never faced up to a major problems as they have not learned how to cope.

Evaluating

Next week I have signed up for two tasks at the Mediation Center. One is a Community Conference with two children involved and the other is a standard mediation. The Community Conferences (I’ll call them CC) are hard. It is so sad to work with these teens and hope to get them to see there are better ways to deal with conflict that violence. In some ways I am not looking forward to it. I will keep on doing them for now and may have to evaluate if it is for me.

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The other mediation is simple and sometimes it can be too simple but there is not stress involved. It is hard to weigh them against each other. I will just keep on for now and see how this goes.

An ordinary day

As days go this was an ordinary day.There is something comforting about an ordinary day. It can seem to be a boring day.Nothing unexpected happens.The day goes as planned.

With the way that things have gone lately it is nice to have an ordinary day. Sometimes we go for quite a while with days being strange.When that happens it is nice for the day to be quiet.

The dictionary says ordinary is “with no special or distinctive features; normal.” It is interesting that it says normal since normal seems to be such a relative term.

I really enjoyed having a day where everything went as planned.That doesn’t happen very often.I have heard it said that time seems to go faster when everything is normal.Today that did not matter.It was just nice to have a day where there were no worries.Like most people, I probably would be bored if everyday we’re like that.I do find that once in a while it is nice to have boring.

Unfortunately, this seems like a boring post.I did you a good night.