Toilet paper answer

Today we ventured out to the grocery store. We are limiting the times we go anywhere but it was necessary. While in the store my husband commented to one of the employees that he just didn’t understand the hoarding of toilet paper.

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The reply he got was “It is because the virus scares the s###t out of everyone.” That is the first logical response I have heard and the funniest.

There are some funny things to be found in our day to day lives now. One yard in our neighborhood usually looks terrible but it now looks great. Guess the free time made a difference.

Many people are still working here but I don’t know how long that will last. We are way behind the places that got the virus early on and we will be behind getting rid of it. That may mean a longer time isolating since we began with the rest of the country.

I have managed to be productive knitting and crocheting— 2 blankets for the Humane Society, three hats for one granddaughter (she wears them so she doesn’t have to fix her hair for university classes), one afghan for another granddaughter several necklaces to sell to make money for the Humane Society. (You can see where my love is)

This is the crazy hat. She will love it!

funky hat

Let’s hope that people calm down soon and the crazy hoarding stops. There really is no need for it.

Stay well!

Mangled messages

I re-discovered an old book on my shelves and will occasionally share some of the quotes. The book is “Anguished English” by Richard Lederer. I hope that you enjoy these as much as I do.

“Let dead dogs sleep.” Image result for dead dogs humor

 

She was a diva of such immense talent that, after hearing her perform, there was seldom a dry seat in the house.

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Great dames for sale

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Three year old teacher wanted for pre-school. Experience preferred.

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And appropriate for the rush to buy hand sanitizer, toilet paper etc.

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Fun signs

I recently noticed a new message on the digital traffic sign near my home. It is a result of a social media competition launched in Georgia by the Georgia’s Department of Transportation. The idea is to get signs people will notice. The one near my house reads: “This is a sign you should buckle up.”  I love these and Georgia is already using them.

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These are the winning entries:

General Safety:

  • First PlaceIF YOU MISS YOUR EXIT ITS OKAY, WE MADE MORE UP AHEAD
  • Second PlaceBETTER LATE THAN NEVER
  • Third Place (tie): DRIVE LIKE YOUR MOMMA IS WATCHIN’; YOU ARE ALLOWED TO USE TURN SIGNALS, WE CHECKED and DRIVE SAFELY OR WE CALL YOUR MOTHER

Distracted Driving:

  • First Place (tie): YOU LOOK GREAT BUT THE SELFIE CAN WAIT and LOOKING AT THE ROAD IS A GREAT WAY TO STAY ON IT
  • Second PlaceNO ONE WANTS TO SEE TRAFFIC ON SNAPCHAT, BRENDA 
  • Third PlacePOP QUIZ, WHAT IS THE SPEED LIMIT ON THIS ROAD?

Impaired Driving (many of the messages submitted were seasonal and can be used during the holidays):

  • First Place:DRIVING HALF LIT IS NOT VERY BRIGHT
  • Second PlaceDON’T SPEND THE NEW YEAR IN JAIL, PARTY RESPONSIBLY
  • Third Place (tie): DON’T BE A TURKEY AND DRIVE BASTED, and THE PARTY SHOULD BE LIT NOT YOU, BRING IN THE NEW YEAR SAFE

Seatbelt:

  • First Place (tie): THIS IS A SIGN YOU SHOULD BUCKLE UP and IF YOU DON’T WEAR A SEATBELT, PLEASE BE AN ORGAN DONOR
  • Second PlaceWEARING A SEATBELT MAKES YOU LOOK THINNER
  • Third Place (tie): HERE IS THE TEA SIS, WE CAN SEE YOU SO BUCKLE UP and SEATBELTS ARE IN, EVERYBODY IS WEARING THEM

Work Zone Safety:

  • First Place:LOOK LEFT, LOOK RIGHT, KEEP WORKERS IN SIGHT
  • Second PlaceWORK ZONE, SLOW DOWN, WORKERS HAVE FAMILIES THAT WANT THEM AROUND
  • Third Place (tie): WORK ZONES MATTER SO DO THE PEOPLE IN THEM, and AVOID DESTRUCTION MIND THE CONSTRUCTION

Who is to blame for this mess?

This showed up last night on Facebook. It is so funny and a wonderful take on elections in general and the things that are going on in Britain and the US.

Beaker Folk Prayer for the General Election

Oh God, we pray for the General Election and that through it your will be done.

Albeit we’re a bit concerned that if we explicitly associate your will with the results of the election, there’s kind of an impression given that the winners have God on their side.

Which given the potential leaders we’re looking at currently seems, frankly, a bit worrying. We mean, we know you’ve worked through Cyrus, Potiphar’s wife, Joseph’s brothers selling him into slavery and a talking donkey. But, you know, that was back in Biblical times when it was all a lot simpler.

And we’re a bit worried that if we say your will is equivalent to the results of a democratic election, then it’s arguable your will made a right mess of it in 2015, 2016 and 2017. Not to take party political sides, but we’ve not been a terribly high-performing country after any of those votes. Was that your will?

As if it was, we can only conclude that in fact your will is to punish us for something. Maybe the Empire, or making hot pants trendy in the 60s, or Strictly Come Dancing. Don’t get us wrong, we can understand the punishment is deeply appropriate. But shorter and sharper would probably be better than this slow death by lies and fantasy we’ve been going through lately. Just a plague of frogs, maybe?

Votes without end

Amen

Maybe we also are being punished for those we have put in office. Who else is to blame? We do, after all, vote.

Devils to angels

On Saturday we took our two Basset Hounds to do a home visit for a family wanting dogs from the rescue organization we got Crash from. The last step in the adoption process is a home visit from someone who volunteers to do this.

We decided to take our dogs to see how the family reacted. They have four children and it is good to see how the children do.

Our dogs are fine with strangers with one exception….they usually bark/howl at everything. If you have ever heard a Basset howl it is LOUD. We tend to call the sound AROO! Well we were in for the shock of our lives. Our two behaved like they were perfect dogs. No barking, loved the children, let everyone pet them….a shock! We thought we had taken the wrong dogs.

crash and tillie (2)

I remember when our children were little it was always interesting to see the monsters at home turn into angels. This is the same experience we had with the dogs. I wonder if our grown children talked to them?

It was a great visit and I hope the family loves the bonded pair of Bassets they have chosen. I am sure they will be approved. Our dogs are back home and behaving normally….that is barking at everything….AROO!

This is not our hound but wait for the howl!

 

Teen years

My son is now in his 50’s. I have been thinking about his growing up. Fortunately I was not aware of some of the things that he did as a teen. I am glad I didn’t know some of it until he was an adult.

He was always trying something out just to see how it would go. I found a dead snake in my laundry room obviously trying to get to some water. I did not know we had a snake in the house. I passed his hamster one night when walking down my hall. the hamster was headed the other way not to be found for quite a while.

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He was a frequent visitor at the orthopedics office. So often that they would call me to tell me he was there and could they treat him.

Testing how strong he was he lifted weights without a weight bench. When you lose the weight while lying on the floor elbows hit the floor at quite heavily. Several days later he asked me if I could look at his arm as it hurt. Imagine my surprise to find the arm actually bent. At the orthopedists office I explained that I had not let my son suffer on purpose but didn’t know about the arm. He lived with a cast for quite a while.

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It wasn’t until I was an adult that I was told about multiple boys riding bikes off the roof of our house into the swimming pool. I’m glad I didn’t know about that.

 

He survived into adulthood and was blessed with a son who followed in his footsteps. Life pays it forward.

Laugh at yourself

catastrophe-2028623_640Today is one of those days where you have to laugh at yourself or just sit down and cry. This morning I decided to make a summer soup I have been craving. It is a curried fresh spinach and green pea soup and is a chilled soup and easy to make. It is made on the stove and simmered for a short while. Making the soup was a breeze and the last step is to put the hot liquid in small quantities in the blender. I blended the first two batches and all was well. There was just a small amount to finish up. I put it in and turned the blender on. At that moment the bottom of the blender began to leak and then there was a cascade of soup all over the counter, the floor, my socks. the cabinets and, of course, the machine part of the blender.

Apparently I did not check to see that the bottom was screwed in tight and it undid itself. The next hour was spent in cleaning everything up. I used almost a whole roll of paper towels along with cloth towels. I had to put the blender mechanism on towels and run it to clear soup from the inside. I have left it to dry and still don’t know if it will work or if I have to get a new one. When I tried it after cleaning it started to smell burnt but I am not sure if that is leftover soup or if it is the machine burning. I will find that out later.

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I have long decided that one of the most critical things in life is a sense of humor. Without that I would have been cursing and crying over the mess I created. My sense of humor kicked in and all I could do was laugh. This yucky event gave me my laugh for the day.

I hope that you are blessed with the ability to laugh at yourself. It saves a lot of anger and pain.