Category: acceptance

Thoughts for the day

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, anxiety

I seem to keep disappearing from here. I don’t really understand why it is happening. The days here seem shorter even though I am doing very little. I end up going to bed early and not thinking about writing.

The past two weeks have been different. For the first time in a long time I have been quite anxious and without access to the medicine that helped me before it is more difficult to handle. I miss my doctors and still don’t have all the specialties I need. I have pulled back into myself and just don’t do the things I really need to do.

Thank God my daughter is doing well following treatments for her breast cancer. That is a blessing.

I think I was naive to think that I would be able to transition to a different life without so much pain. I am strong but things did pile up. I know that I am much better but do tend to have episodes of feeling the loses. So many memories crop up and remind me that time has passed very quickly. It continues to do so.

I have found new friends and they are wonderful but I still miss the ones I had from 1976 to 2020. We have so many shared experiences. I will be building new memories with the ones here and that will help to fill in the blank spaces.

Life moves very quickly. We do have to cherish every moment. We have to live in the now or we miss so much.

Acceptance

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, becoming, Discernment

I am better. So how and in what way? It is the strangest thing but it feels as if someone has turned a switch and my mood is more positive. I don’t know if it is getting the right meds or that linked with just the passing of time.

I realize now that I have been crying daily for almost 2+ years. A lot has happened and much change has had to be absorbed but it seems as if life is just moving on. I still cry when struck by memories and things that trigger them but it is more random.

I do feel as if the tears were necessary and cleansing and helped me share the pain in an outward way. I accept that. Now it is time to begin living in a new way. Now if covid will diminish it will be possible to get back to church (which I have missed terribly) and the other activities that I enjoy.

an attitude change is necessary

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, balance, common sense

I have continued to struggle with depression. I know it is related to the covid numbers here. It seems as if nothing will ever change. I know that we may not end up the way we were before but as a senior citizen I end up so warry of exposing myself.

I know that I am blessed having the basic needs of life available to me. It is just a matter of turning my perspective around. The truth is I miss people. For years I was an extreme extrovert but in the later years I am about in the middle. I realize that I need to make opportunities to connect with people. Even talking on the phone helps.

The real answer lies with me and not from external factors although they are stressful.

Let’s get a change!

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, choices, hope

After a series of glitches last week with my health and my dog Crash I think we are both on the road to recovery. A new year is coming and I pray that with it not just a better year for me and mine but for everyone. The last two years have certainly been hard for us. It is certainly time for everyone to have a break. For some reason I was reminded of a very old TV program called HEE HAW and a song that they sang frequently. I think that in the last two years this has felt true.

Hope is never gone

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, dogs, faith, God, hope

I know my life has not provided pleasant reading for quite a while. Unfortunately it has not yet changed for the better. I was terribly sick Christmas Eve I think due to medicine changes but fine on Christmas. Have been basically fine since except for the pain from the fractured vertebrae.

 Now one of my dogs is ill and I am worried. I am praying for a good prognosis. A new year is coming and I still hope for better things to come. With trust in God and faith there will be continued hope.

Challenging week

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, coping, healing, life changes

This has been a challenging week. On Monday I fell tripping over Crash. Flat on my back. I seemed to be ok but had muscle pain. On Friday afternoon I got extremely fast heart rate and ended up going to the emergency room. I was transferred to the heart hospital and spent the night.Diagnosis is either atrial fib or SVT. Basically there is a place where heart rate is controlled that is going awry. On Wednesday I will have a outpatient procedure that will hopefully fix the problem. Please keep me in your prayers and thoughts for a good outcome. May each of you have a blessed holiday and I will post again soon.

I will be better!

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, accountable, choices

I haven’t written in so long that I will be surprised if anyone remembers me. I seem to function well day to day but can’t spend time thinking. TV has become my escape. I don’t like this version of me. It is up to me to change this. Choices are there I just have to choose well.

My dogs continue to worry me. One is with my daughter for a short while and the other has some health issues that concern the vet. I hope we can pin down the problem soon and that it is minor.

My basset hounds are big dogs with short legs which means that they can pull me down or trip me up easily. I fell earlier this week getting tangled with Crash. (on carpet thank goodness). No major hurt except for muscle pains. I feel blessed that it wasn’t more.

As I look back over this short post I wonder where the real me has gone. I will do better! I am determined!

Helping bassets to adjust

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, dogs, empathy
Dogs calm for now

This is the first time I have written in a long time. I don’t know why. I just couldn’t think. I guess that all that has happened in the last year has caught up with me. I am in a strange place. Life, after all, is a strange space. Sometimes we just need to back up and take a breath.

The two basset hounds have not adjusted at all and it makes me feel so sad to leave them even for a little while. I am working with my vet to find a solution for this but just beginning. She has suggested training and I realize that part of what is being done is to get them to trust me. I know they do on some level but real training has never been done with them and they need to see me as someone who can assure them that is is fine for them to be left in the apartment.

This type of training will be long term and I don’t expect a result over night but I am hopeful. Crash is fairly amenable but Tillie is another matter since she failed training once before but I will hope.

I just want to make their lives bearable.

Is proof proof?

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, belief

This is just so true for today’s world. People are actually unable to step outside of their beliefs. No conversation about a different idea with change them. They will always find a reason to step back into their original position.

Today something reminded me of this quote from “The Mysterious Benedict Society” originally a book now a series on Disney Plus. “Proof is useless unless it’s proof of something people already want to believe.?

I think this is partly why those who chose not to be vaccinated are so set in their position. My oldest daughter works in a hospital in Georgia. When I spoke with her recently the hospital had 95 patients in with covid. Of that number 2 were vaccinated. I wish more cities would cite those statistics. However, it is possible that nothing will change many opinions.

Keeping on

by worrylessjourney, posted in acceptance, anxiety, choices

Everyday is blending into the next. With the rise in covid variant it seems we are back to staying in. It becomes quite depressing. However, there is nothing to do but continue on. There will be some point at which the danger will be outweighed by our need to be with others.

We are human and as such we have a long history of being “tribal.” We need the connection with people. Most of us can only be solitary for so long. Admittedly some extreme introverts can deal with it for quite a while but the rest of us need communion with others.

The incidence of depression and anxiety has risen drastically since this all started. There are discussions of a new, even more virulent covid coming next. We will need to find new ways to live. We may have to limit ourselves to a closed circle of friends. There will still be risk but life has always had risk. We just have to adapt and keep on.