From then to now

I have not posted for so long it feels strange. I spent the last week at the Mayo Clinic with my husband whose knee problem was finally diagnosed after him dealing with the pain since February. His knee is infected with staph. He will be on intravenous antibiotics for six weeks and on oral ones for life. Surgery was done to physically remove as much infection as possible. He is recovering from all of this.

a mystery

There is no answer for how this happened. We all carry staph on our skin and it can migrate through a simple cut. For him it found the weakest area of his body a settled in. It was most likely the cause of several other problems. He is now in a rehab facility for a short stay and then will be home.

It is wonderful to be home but missing him. One of my daughters is with me and it is so good to have someone to actually see and talk with.

Many changes will be coming to my life as it will to the lives of others. We will have to learn to live differently. Somehow we have to learn to respect and appreciate what we have and not dwell on what is missing. It is the only way to live.

The change is us!

What is it like when the day begins with no plans? Every day the same. Nothing going on. The sameness creates ennui…nothing creates the desire to do nothing. We have to learn a new way to live.

That is how I was feeling when I got up this morning. Then the light bulb lit up. It is nice outside. Why not have my knit group meet on my porch where we can distance ourselves?

We can talk and knit and discover what has been going on with each other. I am sure we all have stories to tell. So I called them and that is what we are going to do tomorrow morning. We will meet, have lunch, learn the news from each other and feel like life is somewhat normal.

Just sitting in the boredom was definitely not the answer. It was time to do something about it. We just have to do it ourselves and in a safe way because this is how we have to continue. Life goes on.

Unconditional love

This post should be a challenge since Word Press has decided to put us all in the new version. I have played with it a little and now I will have to dig in and see how it works.

Each day is a challenge. I never know what is coming next and I suspect that this is the “new normal” for me. Today is another Doctor’s visit. Each one heading toward some ideas of what things will be like from here on.

It rained hard night before last with lots of thunder and lightening. One of our bassets obviously had some trauma before we adopted him and he was up all night shaking and crying. We have tried some different meds some with no success and some with side effects we didn’t like. I wish we could help him. We do snuggle him but nothing stops the shaking.

Amazing how much like humans dogs are. If I have experienced the trauma that I’m sure he did I hate to think the condition I would be in. The up side is that both dogs sense when something is wrong and show their concern by coming close to add comfort.

Dogs know hot to chill

I am sure that the dogs run the house. My husband doesn’t like to travel and leave them at home so he would rather stay home. He loves those dogs and they love him.

I don’t think I could live my life without a pet of some kind. I grew up with dogs, outdoor cats, chickens, ducks and turkeys. In college I had gold fish that I hauled back and forth during summer breaks. They lasted all four years. Funny, I don’t remember what happened to them after that. I suppose my mother took them since I married and moved away.

This covid confinement would have been much worse without our dogs.

An important lesson

Every day is different. Today was a better than good day. That’s the way life is. You never know what is coming next. It is the uncertainty that gets us.

control1

Not knowing answers to problems is the thing that is hard to take. I don’t think anyone likes it. When we can see the path in front of us life seems so much easier. We just want someone to turn the lights on the path so we can see ahead.

However, there are so many times in life when that is not possible. No matter what we always live without knowing what is ahead. The difference is we think that we do. We can see the day ahead with all its plans and we think that is what will happen. the truth is there are no guarantees. It’s funny how we perceive that we have control but really don’t. It is an important lesson learned when we realize that.

Making choices

Another day of sitting in my house and outdoors on the porch. It is beautiful but warm out. May is when we usually start almost summery weather. The yard is a mess so I hope that the yard people come tomorrow.. We don’t have them come often. It is too expensive but once in a while I need help to catch up. After they come I must get out and do some things myself.

gardening

I do enjoy working out in the yard except when it is super hot. It try to get out early in the morning and come in before it gets to me. Good hard work is the best exercise and I have been bad lately about avoiding it.

The prediction for us here is that we will have a huge surge in virus cases as things open up since we have not had a peak yet. We stayed inside before it really came here and now the timing my cause us a headache.

risk

There comes a time where some things that have been put off by this virus just have to be done. My husband’s medical issues, though not life threatening, have to be dealt with so some Dr. visits are necessary. We do have to live our lives and do the critical things in spite of the risk.

Years ago my youngest daughter was going to Japan as an exchange student. Shortly before she was to leave a commercial place was shot down by mistake. I don’t remember the exact circumstances but I was afraid for her to fly so far. My husband made the comment that we can’t stay away from risk forever. We do have to take some chances….reasonable ones.

I think the country may be coming to that point. Some places have peaked and it may be necessary to go out for some things. Those of us at high risk will shelter as much as possible but there will be limits.

Hang on!

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Life has been pretty much up and down. My husband’s health fluctuates from day to day. Not critical but learning management is the plan. Yesterday was particularly tough but we got through it. I am still not sure about the underlying problem because the virus has made logical medical care impossible. We will root it out eventually. At least the hospital stay ruled out major problems. I am sure there are others suffering from the same issues.

Something else to make life uncertain. We will all be lucky not to need a short time for what was called in the 50’s a hospital stay for out nerves. Too bad that’s not possible any more. A couple of days rest and relaxation with someone waiting on us would be wonderful. Anyone what to join me? A long time ago a friend suggested (when life was stressful) a Cruise to Nowhere. It showed up in the New York paper and sounded like a wonderful idea. Not so great now with the status of cruising.

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You can do it!

I do find myself without lots of energy to tackle any big projects. Some things I will have to do and will get done. Others will just have to wait. I think looking toward the future is a big question. We know that life will go on but will have to cope with the shape of things. We can do it! We can’t give up or the virus will have won. This is not acceptable.

Most of us are still here and still functioning. Keep going things will change.

 

Feeling stifled

Today has been a good day. I managed to get myself moving and got some things done. It felt good. I think that one of the problems with this isolation is that it seems to sap your energy. The temptation is there to stay in your pajamas all day.

I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free - Billy Taylor - YouTube

We seem to be at that point where the desire to be “free” is making everyone fidgety. You just want to break out and live life as you remember it. Unfortunately, the state has reopened some businesses…hair salons, gyms and ??? tattoo parlors. It will be interesting to see what happens. I would be willing to bet we will see covid numbers rising. It is logical that beginning to loosen the restrictions should be a gradual thing otherwise there will be second round of problems.

File:ABC - Always Be Careful.jpg - Wikimedia Commons

I really hope that very soon there will be some treatments that prove valid even if we have to wait for a vaccine. Just knowing that there is treatment if sickness occurs would be wonderful.

In spite of the things I have been doing to keep myself intellectually stimulated and my mind awake I find myself dull. I guess like everyone else I just miss contact with others. Continue to stay safe.

Home tomorrow!

My husband is to come home tomorrow. Thanks be to God! He seems well and anxious to get back to his regular activities. He likes to do woodwork and other projects. He has been so bored. I am looking forward to him being here.

Stick Figures Holding The Word "Good News". Vector Banner With ...

Some parts of the country are going back to work and opening things. I sincerely hope that this doesn’t bring about another upswing in the virus. I hope to see some change for the better for everyone. This will continue to be a long haul and we all have to take much care. It is very strange to be in the “at risk” part of the population. We will not be changing anything anytime soon. We will need to “hunker down” until things are more safe.

My daughter, who is a nurse, says that her hospital is going to resume a somewhat normal stance keeping precautions in place but back to routine care of the ordinary sick.

We all know that at some time we will have to venture out and hope that it goes well.

Bend don’t break

“The green reed which bends in the wind is stronger than the mighty oak which breaks in a storm.”

Confucius

reeds

We have to learn to bend like the reed. It bends one way and then another. Eventually it stands up straight again. When times of change force us to change ourselves we must become like those reeds and be flexible. When the crisis subsides there will be a new reality. We must adapt and thrive in the new environment. We have the strength. We just need the determination.

What’s next?

future_what_is_next-100711982-largeI wish that this quiet time away from the busy world was one that I could enjoy but not to be. My husband is still in care. He’s physically all right but still not mentally well. He is better. It is just so hard not knowing how this will all come out.

I don’t know if I will have the man I knew or someone else. Things will work out but the uncertainty of it all is harrowing. At this point the virus is of less concern to me. During this time not only has the world outside of my own surroundings changed but also inside my circle. Many people are caught in this. I am not the only one struggling. Some have more grievous things to bear.

I seem to do really well for a while and then I falter. I suppose this will continue until there are some answers forthcoming. Waiting has never been my strong suit. I am certainly learning to endure patience.

It will be different for us when we come out of this. I pray there will not be another pandemic coming any time soon and that we can be better prepared. Everyone is blaming everyone else the world over but I remember hearing some words of Pope Francis pointing out that if we all blame someone else them we have to accept that all of us are to blame. There are certainly judgement errors aplenty to share.

mother earth

We must change. We must understand the nature of the damage we have done to the earth. Soon it will be too late and we must live with the guilt about what we are leaving our great grandchildren.  We have to learn to live together over the whole world or there is no hope.

I pray that we can.