Today my daughter who lives away will be here to visit. I am really looking forward to it since I have not seen her since last fall. It has been so hard not seeing all of my family since my husband’s death. The covid situation has made it hard on so many families. Funerals have not been able to do the normal things following a death. It will be nice to be able to have a proper funeral.
The covid problem seems to be easing for us here but there are places where people are facing horrible devastation from it. We need to keep them in our prayers and help where we can.
Homes are not meant to be lived in – but only to be moved out from.
Richard Rohr in Falling Upward
When I first read this statement I was confused? -startled? – surprised? I’m not sure what. I realized that only when we are confronted with real change do we experience the growth that really moves us forward. It is a time of searching and redefining ourselves. We are moved our of our comfort zone and made to experience the world in a different way.
That has been my experience for, at least, the last year and a half. My life has been changed, disrupted and scrambled. Only now am I beginning to understand that this is not a negative but a positive. This is a time to “fall up” and explore what is revealed to me.
My 80 plus years have not been wasted but are a platform for jumping off. They are a gift that keeps on giving. It is up to me what happens next. I just have to take the leap.
Moving for the first time to another state in 44 years has been an eye opener. I have spent hours notifying people of our new address and one entire hour getting our car insurance updated. It was ridiculous. I still don’t have it all done and will have to do it all over again when we move to the retirement community we plan to join. At least that is in the same town.
Christmas is on its way but I find it difficult to concentrate on it. I am buried in busyness. This time I am creating a list of who to notify so that I can do a more logical job of it.
We move so quickly now into the Christmas season and most people skip Advent or are totally unaware of that season. I love it because of the sense of anticipation. It reminds me of waiting for my own children to be born and the feeling of joy their birth brought.
I like to spend time in Advent thinking about new things to come and how we need to see the good. That has been difficult during this year. Maybe this is the time to think about the good.
We are in Texas! We are not yet in our apartment. The pod arrives on Saturday and we will be able to start settling in. I’m sad that I missed much time with my WordPress family but now I will be able to start catching up. It is a relief to be on this end of the process and though still sad I am looking forward to our next steps.
My brain is slowly starting to function again and that feels good. I may take a while to find my way around here with all those tangled highways but I will get it eventually.
Bouts of grief come and go with me. For some reason driving in the car seems to bring them on. That makes no sense. Grief is always that way. It comes in waves often without warning. Sometimes people don’t realize that it isn’t just a death that we grieve. Any kind of change can bring it on. We grieve for what has been even if we are looking forward to what is to come.
Having moved many times in my life I expect to be sad about what I am leaving but settle well when I get rooted in the next place. In some ways it is refreshing to think that this big downsize means that we will be getting some new furniture of the inexpensive variety. Moving lots of furniture is more expensive that buying new if you are wise about what you buy. We will take things that we love but that is mostly art work and personal items.
A lot of our furniture was passed down from my family and is not necessarily what I would have bought. Even though it has links to the past I have no regrets about letting it go. An estate sale agent will handle that.
It is almost like a new start and a chance to try some different styles that can be modified easily.