I have been reading the most amazing book. It is The Choice by Dr. Edith Eva Eger. She is a psychologist and survivor of Auschwitz. For part of the book she tells her story as a lead in to the things she has learned since and how our choices frame our lives. She begins with this statement: “It took me many decades to discover that I could come at my life with a different question. Not: Why did I live? But: What is mine to do with the life I have been given?”
This is a question that I have struggled with for a long time. At 80 years of age I am not sure that I have the answers yet but I have made progress. Over the years I have realized that most of my purpose is to do this as much as I am able to help others. There are so many who have never had a chance to experience understanding and acceptance which for me are part of loving. Being present for others in a real way is important to me. Covid has made this difficult and it has been hard on me not to be physically present.
I can’t think of anything more important than to be there…present, open and accepting when needed. I wish that everyone could see love and caring as an answer to so many issues infecting our lives. Spread love, hope, kindness and acceptance. It could change everything.
Life is a wonderful thing. A journey that we don’t want to miss. In some ways it seems that we missed things this year. We have to understand that this past year was life. It definitely was different than any of us expected but it was life. For those of us who continued to experience this past year it was a time to learn. It was a time to take stock of ourselves. It was a time to test our strength. It was time to pull out the best of ourselves and live on.
Now it is time for us to take what we have learned and use the strength we have gained to face the new year. We have to make it the best we can. We have to work with what we have and move forward with love and hope.
May the new year give us the chance we have gained through the struggle of 2020 and live, live, live 2021!
It has been very hard to write lately. Covid is rampant again and we are staying close to home. Christmas is almost here and yet it is hard to get into the spirit. So many people did not stay in over Thanksgiving and now we are seeing the result.
This time has been almost as hard as the two Christmases that my husband was in Vietnam. He loves Christmas but this is not what he’s used to.
We will get through this. Somehow things will have to get better.
I hope that everyone has a safe and wonderful Christmas.
Today I helped my daughter make Christmas cookies. This is the first time I had done that in several years. It seems that I haven’t taken the time. It was a really fun things to do. I have finally obtained an appointment with a primary care doc. This is something critical for the management of his health and it is a relief to get this done. I will see if I can see this doc also as it will simplify matters.
Yesterday my daughter, who works at a hospital, got the first of two injections for covid. I am so glad. I have worried about her as she has been exposed three times in the hospital and didn’t get the virus but luck can run out. I hope that this means that all of us will be able to vaccines soon. I have been doing little except knitting, crocheting and watching TV. Like most people I am thoroughly tired of it. What was my hobby has become my life. I am ready for some new stimulating activities.
We are all exhausted with this long drawn out crisis and hope that there will be changes soon. May we all see a new vision with the coming new year.
I can’t believe how difficult it has been to write lately. My heart is heavy with all that has gone on. Details have buried me in paperwork and I am so lonely. I know that most of us are experiencing that problem. I don’t know why it is bothering me now since moving didn’t change any of that since I see some family here and saw a very few friends at at home.
They are starting to vaccinate health care workers here so maybe before too long we will be able to get the vaccine. I know some people are afraid to take it but at our age we have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Each time I have to go to the grocery store or anywhere else I pray that I don’t get the virus just before the vaccine is available. I’m sure many people feel that way.
So much for my sad story this night. Tomorrow will be a brighter day with hope on the horizon. May you all be blessed with a good night and a wonderful tomorrow.
Today I did the little decorating for Christmas that is possible in our small apartment. It looks nice. I still can’t get my mind around having to find gifts for those I love. I’m just not there yet. This is so unlike me. I usually have things done way in advance but then this has not be a normal year for any of us.
I am hoping that we can look toward Christmas as a new beginning. Some vaccines are due to come out soon (we hope) and maybe we will move into the new year with a new vision.
Things are beginning to settle down. Thanksgiving was good and interesting with the mix of people. My daughter, Jenny, sets a beautiful table and her husband did a wonderful job with all the food. It was an amazing meal. Today I made soup with the turkey carcass and some homemade bread for dinner. We will take it to Jenny’s house for everyone to enjoy.
I am finding my way around and only get lost every once in a while. I heard today that some vaccines may be coming before too long. Medical personnel, first responders and other special need people will be the first to get it. At least that will be a start and maybe we will begin to see a decline in the sudden panic that arose again.
I have not seen a person here in public without a mask worn properly. If everyone would do what they should maybe we can reduce the spread at last. How wonderful that would be and something to be truly grateful about.
I need to put up with two or three caterpillars if I want to get to know the butterflies.
The Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery
I love butterflies. They are so beautiful. But caterpillars….they are not ugly but they do love my parsley. They can strip all the plants in nothing flat. So because I love butterflies I let them knowing what good is to come.
This is true of so many things in life. We do have to work our way through the hard places to get to the good ones. Right now it is hard to see the end of this particular journey…both mine and the world’s. I do know that there is an end and there will be butterflies to come. I am just anxious to get there as everyone is. Hopefully it won’t be too long now before we can be with others and hug. We will be able to go to church and eat inside at a restaurant. The day is coming. Hold on to that.
All of us are always on a journey. We don’t really know where the journey will take us. That is a mystery that will unfold as we live. To try and force that journey to go a particular way doesn’t always work. Sometimes we may be able to choose a direction. Sometimes, as in the words of Robert Frost, “Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”
Sometimes we are afraid to choose the unfamiliar road. We just like the smooth path we can see in front of us. We feel secure and safe. But life doesn’t always leave it that way.
For many years we have loved following the known road…the one we could see ahead. But now we a called by life to take that other road…the less traveled one…and we will. We are hoping that road will take us to a place of peace and safety but there is no way to know for sure.
Nevertheless we will step out in confidence sure that life is sending us that way. We will miss many things but gain others. This is always the way. The trick is to appreciate what you do have and not what you don’t.
“You cannot sail new oceans if you never lose sight of the shore.” anon
My grandmother used to tell me about her life as a young girl. At 100 years old she hardly recognized the world she was living in. So many things had changed. Some of the changes have been good for us as humans and others not so good. We need to stay aware of the changes in our world and work to correct those that are bad for us and the earth. After all, our children will know what we have done. What world do we want to leave for them?