keep going

Here I am again having not written for a while. I don’t know what is wrong with me. These posts are my connection to others and I have to do better.

Recently I had a really bad episode of IBSD and it threw me into the most difficult panic I have had in a longtime. If I could just get past my unreasonable fear that stems from years ago I would get whatever I could do done and find something that will help this. Things that happened in the past really can come back to haunt us. I suffered for three months without edimy (then) doctor doing anything and when I finally got to the right person I was in the hospital for three weeks. This experience left me with unreasonable fear of repetition and brings on panic.

Years later I started this blog and it has helped me through a lot. I do so much better when I can express myself and push the problem away.

On the whole I am better but once in a while it comes to haunt me. Those times are less frequent and I know that the meditation, journaling, writing here and keeping busy have made a tremendous difference.

Not finding the right church has not helped but I will keep on trying.

I guess my thought for today is never give up. Just keep going.