Author: worrylessjourney

And all manner of things will be well

by worrylessjourney, posted in danger, hope, life changes, worry

batterdownthehatches_2011-12-20-humor-1Tonight I am discombobulated. A great southern term. Since we live in coastal Georgia we will begin putting things away and battening down the hatches. I know that we are blessed to not be in Florida or some of the islands that will be very hard hit and I grieve for those people. To have your life disrupted  by mother nature can be a devastating blow. Any idea of safety and security is literally blown away. Suddenly you are completely vulnerable. Having been through this last year……as did all the places being hit again…..you start to feel caught in some dreadful nightmare. It would be easy to ask where is my God in all of this?

The thing is I start to wonder how much part we humans have played in all of this. Are we having so many storms because of the warming water due to global warming. It is possible the earth would be warming anyway but I suspect that we have helped it along.

buddhaSo where is God? The answer is right where God has always been…at our side through any kind of adversity. There was no promise that life would be perfect. Just a promise to always be there. So..I will leave my home and hope that when I return things will not be too bad. My husband and I will still be together and the rest of our family safe. As Julian of Norwich says: “and all will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well.”

And the News Is……

by worrylessjourney, posted in aging, anxiety, danger, weather, worry

bad weatherNext week may be an interesting one for me. At the moment it looks like hurricane Irma will make landfall right across my home. If it does this will be two hurricanes in two years. One of my friends said that if we are hit again she is just going to put up a for sale sign in her front yard and pray that someone is not afraid to live there.

We have just finished with the last of the repairs from last year. We have insurance but it only pays for damage to the house and we are responsible for anything outside which sounds fine until you realize that we had to remove at least five downed trees for quite a lot of money that had to come out of our pockets. I’m not sure I can face it again. The thing is I know that I should not be complaining with the devastation in Houston. It will take that city and surroundings years to recover.

mother nautreThe devastation this hurricane will leave behind in places like Haiti that have no infrastructure will be horrible. They are being pounded with 185 mile an hour winds which is the highest winds only reported one other time in recorded history. There will be many deaths, loss of homes, food, medicine and much more. In the last ten years Haiti has been hit by two earthquakes and several hurricanes. Please pray for them and the others who have been and will be in the path of this storm.

I am anxious and not thrilled about putting up storm shutters which at my age (76)  and my husband’s 79, will not be an easy task and then removing everything from the yard and nailing down anything that can’t be moved. I keep reminding myself that these are the things we deal with in life. We choose to live here (but we may change our minds after this) and so we will deal with what nature brings. At least with a hurricane..unlike a tornado…we have warning and can get ourselves and our dogs out of harms way.

My hope is in the Lord who made heaven and earth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How do you fill the hole?

by worrylessjourney, posted in addiction, compassion, connections, understanding

I have just read an article from Spirituality and Health about a physician named Gabor Mate. Mate works with addiction patients in Vancouver, Canada. I have included a link to the whole article at the end of this post.

I was intrigued by the article and found some things I agree with and others I don’t. Mate is convinced that much addiction is linked to our childhood experiences. I agree that there may be some link between the two but I wouldn’t rule out the other links such as genetic disposition. I am a holistic thinker and tend to see us as body, mind and spirit linked together. However, some of his thinking seems to be right on target.

“Addiction, says Maté, is nothing more than an attempt to self-medicate emotional pain.”

addictionI do believe that this is true. In a previous blog I talked about the hole that is in us that we need to fill. Each of us tries to fill it in some way. Our way of filling it may be a recognizable addiction or one that society sees as good.

Mate says that: “The only difference between the identified addict and the rest of us is a matter of degrees. Daniel Maté, Gabor’s son and an editor of his books says “A lot of people make wonderful contributions to the world at their own cost. We often lionize unhealthy things.”

It seems to me that we are all addicted in some way. Some are workaholics, some over or under eat, some shop etc. If we do enough of these things we may begin to be noticed as going overboard and a problem may be identified and called addiction. This doesn’t happen to all of us but each of us is trying to fill that hole in some way. The question is with what?

Some doctors who do not recognize something as other do not agree with Mate who says: “something else in us and about us: it is called by many names, ‘spirit’ being the most democratic and least denominational.” For me this is God.

He does believe that there is something more. Something about us that is craving for wholeness.

The article concludes with Mate talking about how we treat and judge addiction and for me he hits the target smack in the middle.

“We lack compassion for the addict precisely because we are addicted ourselves in ways we don’t want to accept and because we lack self-compassion,” he says. “And so we treat the addict as an “other” – this criminal, this person making poor choices – to whom we can feel superior.

“I think that if we developed a more compassionate view of addiction and a more deep understanding of the addict and if we recognized the similarities between the ostracized addict at the social periphery and the rest of society and if we did so with compassion both for them and for the rest of us we would not only have more efficient, more successful drug treatment programs, we would also have a better society.”

better world

This was an excellent article with much to think about. If you would like to read it for yourself the link is: https://spiritualityhealth.com/articles/2012/10/10/gabor-mat%C3%A9-why-were-culture-addicts#.Wa3qMGIX6z0.email

Hope is the thing with feathers*

by worrylessjourney, posted in anxiety, hope, love

Today hasn’t been the best for me. A flare up of IBS which of course includes a flare of anxiety. I wish I knew why these two are connected. Anyway, I will keep on keeping on. It seems to me that is the most important thing. The ability to get up and do! I guess it doesn’t really matter do what just get up and do something.

Life is not about sitting in a corner with your hands on your face. It is about continuing to live. Each day is important. Every moment is a piece of my life. I don’t want to lose any of that. So I will get up tomorrow and start a new day.

For some reason this reminds me of this poem by Emily Dickinson.

hope 2

Hope is a thing with feathers…soft and comforting. In spite of its seeming weightlessness it can hold us up. Each new day is a chance for something new, something different. We just have to have faith. This world is meant for something better. It is meant for peace and love. Maybe we will never see it but the hope is there. I have faith.

*title from Emily Dickinson

How do we fill the void?

by worrylessjourney, posted in balance, compassion, healing, life changes, peace, prayer

What are we missing? What is the thing that makes us feel as if we are not complete in some way? What is it that makes some of us feel that only money can fix it. For others it may be fame and others some sort of addiction. We try to fix it with food, alcohol even suicide. We label some people as having an addiction and yet each of us is addicted to something. The question is something that helps us or something that hurts us.

puzzle piece

Each of us lives out life striving to fill that void. The quote below from Blaise Pascal shows that humans have had this longing for centuries. Pascal equates it as God.

“What else does this craving, and this helplessness, proclaim but that there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? This he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object; in other words by God himself.” 
– Blaise Pascal, Pensées VII(425)

Some people have said that there is a God sized hole in each of us that we try to fill with things but nothing works. Those of us who sense that hole may be reaching out to understand and find God….each in our own way. For me that search fulfills itself in Christianity. For others it may be Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism or wherever you find that peace.

peace

In my mind that peace is found in love and compassion toward others which seems to be at the root of most faiths. Accepting and caring for others no matter their beliefs, color, sexual orientation or anything else pulls us toward filling that hole. Seeking to find something more than ourselves by meditation, prayer and acts of love fill us in a way that nothing else can.

Seek to find that peace for yourselves and help lead others to it.

Help Where You Are

by worrylessjourney, posted in compassion, life changes, needs, prayer, weather, worry

Life is never boring. Now nature has handed the people around Houston a major catastrophe. This may not impact us individually but we need to think about what something like this can do….feel compassion and help where we can.

lifting

Last year we were hit by a hurricane head on. It was just a category 2 hurricane when it hit us but the way it functioned caused more damage than usual for a hurricane of that size. For the fist part of Matthew we were pummeled by 12 inches of rain and minimal winds. After the eye was past the winds came. We have a lot of pine trees. Usually those trees are snapped off by winds but do not fall over. Unfortunately, the rain loosened the roots and our islands were devastated by fallen pines. These were at least 100 foot trees. Many houses were hit by more than one tree and some were completely destroyed., We were lucky to only have one tree on our home. Now I worry about it happening again this year.

There is a point to all this remembering. At almost one year later we have finally repaired the damages from Matthew. When I think about Houston and surrounding areas I know that the damage from winds was bad enough but the floods have been devastating. Some people will never recover. For others it may be years before they are settled and comfortable somewhere.

houston

I do wonder about our weather and what is changing. We have not done our earth any favors. We are called to be stewards but good stewardship does not leave the land in worse shape. Some of climate change can be from the normal cycles of the earth but we have gone way overboard to injure “this fragile earth our island home.” (from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer) If we continue the way we are we will soon extinguish ourselves.

All of us are called to do whatever we can to help. We must pray for and help the hurricane victims in whatever way we are able. Each of us must also do what we can to help the earth. We may only be one person at a time but each thing helps. We may inspire others to help too.

Pray for all those who have experienced tragedy due to weather.

There Remains Hope

by worrylessjourney, posted in aging, anxiety, guilt, hope, medical, PTSD, understanding

hidingIt is only in the last few years that I have realized that anxiety (and related problems) runs in families. It may manifest itself differently in each person but those descended from us may have it. Since there are two people involved in conception it is not 100% that a family member will have it. In my family I now realize that there are several of us who suffer with some form of this. More than one of us has some anxiety, OCD, depression and/or inability to sleep. The only light is that they can see at the end of the tunnel me still moving along at 76. They can feel comfortable that it is possible to manage these problems and live a good life. In the early years of my life anxiety, depression etc were not understood or talked about. Where women were concerned it was brushed off. In the south it was often called the “vapors” and you could go to a hospital to return to a calm demeanor. Some women just kept to their rooms. I am sure that most of you have read or seen Pride and Prejudice where the mother is constantly in a state of anxiety.

As the years went on I learned that certain situations caused me extreme stress with some symptoms of anxiety such as sleeplessness, increased heart rate, etc. I had one panic attack in college and the school had a psychiatrist who gave me ?Valium short term. I felt there was something wrong with me that I couldn’t face some things without anxiety. I tried so hard to change but nothing helped. I felt guilty for being the way I was and never talked about it. It was a no no subject.

hopeThank God things have changed. The invention of anti-depressants and other meds that can help the symptoms make this no longer a guilty secret. I know that my problem is mild compared to many and that I am not crazy. This is the information that I feel the need to pass on to anyone suffering from these disorders ,,,,especially to those I love.

You can live a full life. You don’t have to hide or be ashamed. Doctors now realize that this a brain wiring problem and much research is being done on the brain to identify where the various problems are located and what can be done to help. This also doesn’t mean that you must be born with it. Extreme trauma such as PTSD can cause the wiring glitch. There is a recent book by a lifelong anxiety sufferer called On Edge – A journey Through Anxiety by Andrea Peterson. It can be a tough read but she has done major research with scientists who are studying the problems. It may or may not be something you want to read but I found it enlightening.

The most important thing to remember is that we are not some weird creation. “God didn’t make junk.” (from marriage encounter) We have issues just like everyone else. Ours were taboo for a long while but that has changed and will continue to as more research is done. Hang in there! I lived through “the dark ages” and have a wonderful husband and family. Life is good most of the time. You can do it!

Share Pain – Help Others

by worrylessjourney, posted in compassion, connections, Loneliness, needs, understanding

Loneliness keeps cropping up in my thoughts. So many people are alone and long for someone to acknowledge they exist. The pain they are feeling is excruciating. It makes me want to reach out and touch them in some way. Some of these people are physically alone. They live by themselves and seldom see others but some are people that we meet every day. On the outside they seem like everyone else. It is the inside where the pain is found.

We have superficial relationships with many people and can pass right by someone who needs more. It can be difficult to risk reaching out and exploring the feelings of others. To do so we have to open ourselves to them. We have to be non-judgmental and most of all open to listening. Most of this is summed up in the word compassion.

Compassion_FuneralCall

Several people in blogs have mentioned being empathic.  I think there are those of us who do sense the pain of others. The question is do we do anything about it.

Any troubles that we have had in our lives prepares us to help others. If we have suffered a loss we are more able to understand the feelings of others in the same situation. People who have anxiety or depression can truly understand what someone else with the same issues is feeling. We think we are so different and admittedly each of us is unique but we all have suffered each in our own way. The interesting thing is that when we reach out to others we can sense our own pain diminishing. For me, sharing my pain is cutting it in half.

belonging (1)It is so heartwarming to find people able to open up about their own problems while writing a blog. Admittedly it’s easier than in person but it is still offering yourself to others. Maybe doing it in writing will make it easier to sense the pain of someone you actually meet. Too often we feel an outsider and that no one else has the same problems but when you start to actually hear others stories you know that you are not alone. You are in a community of belonging.

 

Love Can Change Everything

by worrylessjourney, posted in connections, divided world, Loneliness, love

The world is such a lonely place. There are billions of people but that doesn’t fix it. Our loneliness comes from our separateness. I remember an old Star Trek episode where the Enterprise was transporting an alien being who was contained in a box. He was not able to be looked upon as it would be harmful to the crew. In his existence (?world) everyone was connected. When mind melded with Spock he said (not exact quote) how can you stand the loneliness? I have never forgotten this. We are each contained in our own environment and are not completely connected with others.When the abilities that we have connect us with someone it is not 100%. We do not know their complete mind. This can lead to ambiguous relationships. How do we know that someone really likes or loves us? Unfortunately, we never can. We have to live with the questions and with trust. This means that we can be wrong and sometimes hurt.

love without fearThe thing is we have to try. If we live always afraid of connecting with others we will never experience love. We have to put ourselves out there knowing that we can be hurt. A pastor friend said at my mothers’ funeral said grief is a gift given to us by God for loving and being loved. That statement has turned my mind around.

In loving we can be hurt. We can be in pain and be ready to back away and not try again. But we are called to love. “Love God, and your neighbor as yourself.” It doesn’t say anything about how to cope when that love is not returned.

As far as I can see the only way to cope is to love your way through the pain. Loving expecting nothing in return can change everything.

 

 

Gentle or Malevolent Darkness

by worrylessjourney, posted in anxiety, danger, darkness, evil

I am reading a book by Barbara Brown Taylor called Walking in the Dark. The book has opened many thoughts for me about light and dark. We do see them as opposites and equate them with good and bad. We have dark thoughts, saw a dark movie etc. Darkness holds scary things. Yet, as a child, some of my favorite memories are of a group of adults sitting on our back patio talking late into the night. There was no light. The stars were out. It was hot summer and outside was cooler and usually had some breeze. This time felt so special for me. I was usually not allowed up late so this was stolen time. The soothing voices of the adults would lull me to sleep. For me, the dark held no danger.

darknessOf course later in life I became aware of how light and dark are used. The Bible has references such as John 1:5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it. There are many others. Distance from God is often called the dark night of the soul.

Darkness in the cities is not really dark and there are dangers that make the night frightening. Our current world is more scary at night. We can’t see what lurks there.We also see ourselves as having dark places within us. Places that hold anxiety and depression. We want to bring light to those places to drive away the darkness. I see this as a malign kind of darkness filled with clouds of hate and evil. I wish we had a different name for those. If we did we could distinguish between that darkness and the gentle dark that allows us to rest.

We have lost our connection to the night as a peaceful time.We need it physically to maintain the circadian rhythm of our bodies. Most of us rest easier in the dark.

How enchanting is it to walk in the dark….away from disrupting light….. and truly look at the night sky. There is something magical that is not there in the daylight. Watching the sunset over the ocean and waiting for the stars to come out is ethereal.

night sky

We need to separate the malevolent darkness from the healing peaceful dark.