Where do I fit?

by worrylessjourney, posted in confusion, sadness

In reading comments from others tonight I realized that in addition to giving up my home and many “things” this change has caused me to move away from being the “matriarch.” It was always my home that some of my children came to during Christmas time. It was my table where we ate and I considered it my job to be sure that everyone had a good Christmas.

loss of role/identity

Now I seem to be in a new world. One where my role has changed and I am not sure how I feel. I miss so many things besides the obvious. I miss my volunteer work, my caring for others who I could help, my place in my local community. All of this is gone. In many ways I have lost myself.

I know that this will change and that covid has made this a problem that it would not normally be. In another time I would have been able to get out and meet people. Find places to help and volunteer and covid ahs taken that away.

This is something to ponder on and find ways to plan for something new.

17 thoughts on “Where do I fit?”

  2. yes, this is one of the things i will be writing about soon as well. My roles in so many areas have changed but mostly the one in my community. This Covid has made so many changes in all our lives, and so unexpectedly:(

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  3. I have seen this with both of my parents as they got older. My daddy had such a difficult time letting go of the things he would do around the house. Hiring someone to mow the lawn was a BIG deal!! Mom doesn’t host holidays any longer, we gather at my house across the street. I tell her what I am preparing and she fills in with what she is up to doing. She loves to bake!! I told her not to get any of us gifts for Christmas. We want for nothing. It is very difficult to break with those traditions and roles, but life and circumstances change. Besides, Baby Jesus is coming regardless of all our convolutions!

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