My husband mentioned receptively that he doesn’t remember people being so angry at each other when we were younger. I agree with him. I meet so many people who are angry for no reason. Today I was crossing the road from Staples to my car and there was a gentleman down from me doing the same thing. A car came up to him and honked loudly several times. He was trying to hurry but had a limp and I think was moving as fast as he could. The lady pulled in next to my car and got out. Her shirt said: “Remember be kind.” I was so tempted to say something to her but I didn’t. She needed to read her own shirt!
It is so easy to see the anger in road rage, shootings, anger in our government, and just about everywhere. What has happened? Have changes in the ways we communicate (electronically) allowed us to not be kind face to face? The treatment of each other has deteriorated drastically.
I hope that we can discover the cause of all the anger and learn new ways to get along. If not, life will continue to be scary.
Good grief! Our local civic center offers shows all during the year. I get their email with the line up for the next few months. The scary part is that of all the people listed I didn’t know a single one! I know I’m getting older but somewhere I have lost my connection to the current music etc. stars. I guess I have some serious catching up to do. I need to spend some quality time with my grandchildren (who are all adults except for one), It’s going to be bad when I have to ask my great grandchildren about the current music scene. I have always tried to keep up enough to know who is currently singing, playing etc but I have lost it now.
My grands are going to be hearing from me asking to be brought up to speed. I don’t want to become the dotty old grandmother.
Sometimes we build walls around ourselves to stay safe. We wall out anything that hurts us…whether physical or mental. An extreme example of how the walls work is the patient written about called Sybil. Dividing yourself into separate people puts up walls between the root person to help her. Another example is Howard Hughes who physically walled himself in.
Our various forms of mental illness can be walls. Ways that we have adjusted to the world in order to survive. The illnesses seem negative but at some time they may have been essential. (this may not include some types of illness)
The walls are hard to pull down. They are worse than masks. Masks seem more temporary but the walls have been built with bricks and mortar. Our anxiety can cause us to retreat from the world. We only seem safe if we stay under the covers on our beds.
When we are suffering it is very difficult to pull down the walls and move out of our comfort zone. When I am anxious I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything. I curl into a fetal position mentally and physically. I have erected a wall around myself.
I have been working on the things that help me to remove the wall one stone, one piece of mortar, at a time. Meditation, remembering to breathe, focusing my mind, distraction are all things that help. With persistence these tools help me to keep the wall from growing and even begin to keep sections down. Progress is happening which gives me impetus to keep on keeping on.
Don’t give up. That wall can be knocked down a little at a time. Just keep on!
Today I decided to bake some bread from a different recipe. It didn’t work. Although the bread rose initially after shaping it just sat there. After a little rise I decided to bake it and it promptly fell. After taking it out the taste was great and the texture wonderful but it only rose the slightest bit. Won’t use that recipe again. Back to my own recipe that works every time.
Bread baking is so therapeutic. I love kneading it with my hands. The silky feel of it and the smell when it bakes. (even if it doesn’t rise) The house smells so good. I was planning to take some to a neighbor but another day.
Things don’t always work out the way we planned. This was a small thing but when big things happen we have to move on just the way we do with the little ones. Sometimes it helps to fuss and #%^&*+# some to make us feel better. If it is a truly bad thing it may take some time to get over it. I have a friend who says “take 24 hours for a pity party and then shake it off and get on.” I have actually found this to work for me. After the 24 hours are up I challenge myself to rise up out of the depths, take a deep breath, and move on. I think our minds just need time to absorb whatever new reality is facing us.
Life is never boring but shakes us up to test our mettle. Those upsets don’t get to me as much as they used to except for life and death issues. Even then I have learned that those things can be faced and accepted even though they hurt. At my age one has to acknowledge that death is inevitable. Doing so brings a kind of peace.
If only we could learn to live each day knowing that it will never come again. Participate in life every moment instead of waiting for tomorrow we would be so blessed.
Why do people say terrible things! Why would a nurse in a doctor’s office say to a patient “we don’t know what is wrong with you. You may have cancer?” If it really happened that sent someone on their way in a panic.
I don’t know whether the above story is true or not but that is my point. We hear stories every day about other people and we have no idea how far they are away from the original. It may have floated through 20 people and been changed by every one.
Gossip. It can be a killer. It may start out as a fact but it really can evolve as it goes. I heard that a husband and wife were very sick. His illness was not specified but it was told that she had serious cancer. Both were on their death beds. On checking facts I discovered that she did in fact have cancer but is finished with treatment and doing well. He has a problem that he has had for a while and things are no different.
A friend’s son is going through a divorce and I’m sure by now he has been tarred and feathered and run out of town.
Why do we enjoy passing on things told to us? Is it because we can gloat that we are not in the same predicament? Does it make us feel better?
The answer is both are true. There is something so fiendishly fun gossiping about someone else’s misery. We are not sick, not evil, not in trouble like them. We can walk away with a smile leaving the trash talk behind. And on the story goes on changing with each telling.
My father used to say “put your brain in gear before you put you mouth in motion.” A wise saying. We need to think about the pain our actions can cause. At a new kind of mediation I observed recently the leader said “think about the ABC’s. Action, Behavior, Consequences.” Every one of us needs to think about that. Words can hurt, words can kill, words can ruin someone’s life.
Be careful what you pass on.
This is absolutely worth reading.
We are handed our bulletin with the order of service when we arrive at St. Alban’s Church in St. Petersburg. The back page often has articles that might be of interest to the congregation. This was in Sunday’s one, and I love it. ” A Welcome borrowed from Coventry Cathedral in Coventry, West Midlands, England. […]
via Are all churches like Coventry Cathedral. — susiesopinions
Yesterday I didn’t write which is unusual for me. I spent the afternoon with my friend while someone came to get a history on her husband and help to evaluate her husbands mental status. He has had such a devastatingly physical journey that it has taken its toll. It took all afternoon to get it all down on paper.
She wanted me there because I have been on a good bit of this journey with her and could help with the history. Just having someone write it all down made me realize what an extensive and harrowing time it has been.
I feel so humbled by how she has weathered this whole scenario and my heart aches for all she has been through with him. I don’t think anyone can appreciate the level of exhaustion and stress seen when a long illness puts their partner into the caregiving role.
It is so important for caregivers to have time away from the situation. Without it their physical and mental status is at risk. It is a blessing when help can be afforded but in some cases that is not possible.
Most people just keep going and hate to ask for help. Frequently there are friends, neighbors, church members or others who would be willing to sit for a while with the ill person. When they do it is important for the caregiver to do something for themselves…..meet friends for lunch, go outdoors away from home, or whatever rejuvenates them. Too often they take that time for errands and tasks that must be done. This may be necessary but even a short while doing something they love will help.
If you know someone who is a caregiver take the time to offer help. Be specific. Tell them you can sit for them or run errands or, if they can, take them out. Caregivers need all the help we can give. It is so easy to continue with our own agenda but remember those who have no time for themselves.
Today I went to do a mediation. It was the shortest one I have ever done. My suspicion is that this family has been at each other for years. I don’t think that will stop anytime soon.
Families are so tricky. We usually know who our family members are and whether we like them or not. Some members we accept even though they may not be our cup of tea. Some of the trouble comes about because of money….. a consistent evil. Someone dies and the distribution of money and family things causes bad feeling. Members accuse each other of taking something that doesn’t belong to them or mishandling money to be distributed. No matter how close and loving a group seems they can fall apart over things left.
I have decided that I will begin deciding who in my family will receive things that I expect could cause issues. I have begun asking my children what are the things that matter to them. Sometimes the answers can surprise you. Some people are more concerned about memories rather than intrinsic value. Having that information is helpful when making decisions.
The sad part is when things aren’t defined sufficiently families can end up with bad feelings and divisions forever. I don’t think my children are that way but you never know for sure.
There are things that have to be done before hand so that things don’t go downhill fast. I hope it is years before is slip off this mortal coil but just in case I am starting to make sure all goes as well as possible.
I saw this quote today. I sort of chuckled and know it is true. When we lived at West Point we lived on top of a mountain called Stony Lonesome. I would get up in the morning to a sunny day and dress accordingly. Going down to the post to shop I would discover that I truly was above the storm and it was pouring down below. I actually lived above some storms.
However, when we are talking about life it is not always possible to get away from the storm. It can sweep into life and change things as we know it. Those kind of storms can’t be escaped but they can be endured and will pass.
I have been in some long lasting storms in my life. Some that I never thought I would get out of but I did. During the storm there were friends and family who shielded me from the deluge and gave me something to hold on to. I have been blessed that I have not had to face things alone.
I hope for everyone that they can find someone to anchor them in life. It may be God, a friend, a family member….it doesn’t matter who. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Only the strong are willing to reach out. It is not a weakness to need help. Don’t suffer on your own.
Here on Word Press is one place you can reach out and know that you will be heard and answered. This is a loving and giving community at your fingertips.
I hardly slept at all last night. I don’t know why there was no reason.
It is a beautiful day here it’s in the low eighties high seventies. It is so nice that I decided it was the perfect day to work outside.
I was able to stay outside longer than usual. I didn’t get as hot. However, I forgot how tired I was and now I am so sleepy. From here on the porch I can see ships going in-and-out of the channel. It is a beautiful sight.
It is a blessing to have a day like this when it is almost August. It is usually so hot and humid that we can’t stay outside for long.
I hope everyone is having a beautiful and wonderful weekend.