What has been done has been done!

one day at a time
Jane Seabrook

Today I have been feeling stressed. I started obsessing about dec 18th through 21st when we have to go back to Mayo clinic for therapy for my husband. We have no one to keep the dogs and so if all works out will take my friend’s 27 ft, camper. It is a real luxury but easy to drive since it is not one of those ones that looks like a bus. It looks more like a truck and has all the bells and whistles that we need. She bought it recently and has not used it so we do have to check everything out and be sure it all works.

I can’t say that I am looking forward to those days with the dogs. I don’t know how two bassets will respond to the trip. However, bassets are not know for their energy but are know for their incessant talking. (read that as barking). I will also have no internet to blog unless I can find a hot spot.

carry onI should take this as “time out of time” and relax into it but I haven’t wrapped my head around it yet. Maybe I will after we get the camper all set up. I can spend time reading and walking the dogs. If it is not cold I would love to walk them on the beach.

Today I began something new and it really helped me to back down off my anxiety. I watched “the great bell chant” on you tube and another video that taught how to use the bell. Since I have a bell from Tibetan monks I used that and found that the sound is very calming for me. Another tool in my tool chest. Something I will continue to work with.

I have been so good about my meditation, prayer and writing time and that has helped also. The place I have failed utterly is cleaning my office and my house in general. I don’t do well with cluttered space and usually my office is my “sacred space.” Right now it is filled with Christmas presents that need wrapping. Oh well. My mother used to say that I don’t have to worry that the elves will come and clean it for me and that after I rest or go out it will still be there for me to take care of. A very wise woman, my mother. She lived to be 95 and was wise ’til death. I hope I am that blessed.

Advent continues to slide toward Christmas. I have decided to live by the prayer I use each night before I sleep. Hope you enjoy this prayer as much as I do.

From “Night Prayer” in the New Zealand Prayer Book

timelapse-of-starry-night-sky-and-swaying-fir-trees_h3geiyzmx_thumbnail-full01

Lord,
it is night.

The night is for stillness.
Let us be still in the presence of God.

It is night after a long day.
What has been done has been done;
what has not been done has not been done;
let it be.

The night is dark.
Let our fears of the darkness of the world and of our own lives
rest in you.

The night is quiet.
Let the quietness of your peace enfold us,
all dear to us,
and all who have no peace.

The night heralds the dawn.
Let us look expectantly to a new day,
new joys,
new possibilities.

In your name we pray.
Amen.

A little bit more

Well, this is my second time tow write this blog. For some reason WP lost it even though I saved it.

I wrote on https://heargodinothervoices.blog/2018/12/08/a-little-bit-more/ about Advent season and I would like to share some of my thoughts here.

In this season before Christmas there is something that changes. Whether people are Christian/Jewish or celebrate something else there is a change at this time of year. People seem more kind and caring. They are more willing to make donations and volunteer to help others. There is something about the season that, like snow, floats down over our parts of the world. It is as if a profound sense of generosity is awakened. This time of the year is different and I think Dr. Seuss, in the Grinch, was right. It is “something more.”

May we keep this caring and outpouring of help into the new year.

dr seuss1

Find Peace

Peace. How much weight is carried by that word. What does it mean to be at peace? I have come to the conclusion it has to do with accepting life as it is. The ability to see each thing that opens for us as part of life and be in accord with it.

It sounds so easy. Unfortunately it’s not. How often do we spend time bemoaning what has happened or obsessing about it? So much energy is expended worrying and planning. Think how easy life would be if we could just let go.

Peace                                                                                                                                            the quiet of a starry night                                                                                                        a moment in time

the comfort                                                                                                                                       of a warm bed                                                                                                                                on a cold night

a dog’s welcome                                                                                                                          after a long day                                                                                                                          of stress and pain

the sound of ocean waves                                                                                                           as they caress the shore                                                                                                             and the foam gently touches my feet

the Christmas lights                                                                                                                 twinkling in joy                                                                                                                         for the season of love

the quiet of snow                                                                                                                silencing the world                                                                                                                       and turning it white 

these thing bring                                                                                                                        calm to my body                                                                                                                          and peace to my soul                                                                                                          

Can you live in mystery?

Can you live in mystery? For me, advent is a season of mystery. It is about waiting…something that most of us don’t do well. It is also about not knowing. When we wait for a baby we have no idea what the outcome will be. The baby may be healthy or not…fussy or not….cute or not. We just don’t know.

mystery.png

We also won’t know for years what that child will be like when an adult. We may do everything we can to raise him/her and it still may not work out. We live daily in mystery but we think we are in charge. We think we are in control.

im not in chargeI learned pretty early on that I am not in charge. Anyone who has suffered with illness or mental health issues has that hit home. We have learned that life is about living each day as it comes.

If we have learned how to cope with unknowing then we make adjustments and move on to the next day. Strangely enough this is not a bad thing. Those who have not learned about life’s mystery have difficulty when something goes out of their control.

So, don’t bemoan the trials you have had. Take the things you have learned and use them to your benefit. You will be able to tackle challenges better and recover faster than those who have never faced the unknown that shatters their belief.

stronger

Know this—your experiences have made you stronger. You can live in mystery.

The best day?

patients-quote

Today seemed like it was not going to be the best day. We arose at 5 AM to travel to Mayo Clinic for my husband’s appointment. I HATE getting up in the dark! There was no problem with the drive but at the appointment we got the news that the physician wants to do another procedure for my husband to make sure he has the best possible outcome. (God bless the Mayo Clinic for caring so much!) This is not bad news except it requires another trip and additional two nights at the clinic. Unfortunately this has to be done as soon as they can schedule and it looks like Dec. 19th for tests, 20th for procedure and 21st for therapy. Yikes! This is the week before Christmas but it will be worth it.

I am the grandmother. I am not the mother of young children with an all out Christmas to plan. I have to remind myself of that. Everyone around me will deal with it and if Christmas is not as planned…Oh well. It will still come….and go.

good-friends-like-stars-you-260nw-619768490My friend has offered us her RV (not huge and easy to drive) so that we can save the expense of hotel and dog sitters. We hope to do that and take the dogs with us. I will rotate between keeping dogs and being with my husband. (He would rather me be with the dogs since they are more important than me! LOL!) God bless good friends!

So instead of feeling stressed about all of this I am feeling grateful. Grateful for caring physicians and good friends. Grateful for loving family who will be happy that we are still around. All in all, not a bad day but a blessed one.

cookie-monster-wisdom

Life is for living!

life hits you

Why is it that we have these times of doing well and the suddenly life smacks you. My friend’s husband fell last night and broke his hip. She has been caring for him…physically..for over a year now. She is the reason that he is alive. Medicine today requires that you have an advocate and she is his. He was doing well and improving, walking with a walker and talking more and now we are back at square one. I am brokenhearted for her and for him.

My daughter’s father-in-law died yesterday. She has been helping to care for him for the last eight months. His was an expected and peaceful death but there is still much to get through. In life we are in the midst of death.

This is the season of anticipation. Waiting for a birth and yet death and suffering continue. The cycle of life. It is interesting at my age to think about the years coming and know that I won’t be here to see the future. This is not an unhappy reflection but a reflection on life itself. Everything is a cycle of birth and death. Even stones are worn away into sand. We also return to the earth. This is as it should be.

Erosion_at_Rocking_Stone_-_geograph.org.uk_-_33777

Today I am fighting IBSD and that is part of my cycle. This too will pass and life will continue to be born. There is today and more days to come. Take each of them and treasure them whether they are joyful or challenging.  Life is to be lived.

 

 

A season of gray

I worked for a Lutheran church and I now go to an Episcopal church. I love liturgy. It has form and function. In the midst of a chaotic world it continues an age old pattern. That gives me comfort.

dreary-rural-road-landscape-on-260nw-466153421We are now in the season of Advent. Advent arrives in the darkest time of the year. Where I live it has been gloomy for the last week. We have had cold and rain. The sky is gray, the trees are gray…it feels as if the world is gray. The weather at this time of the year can be really depressing.

We are at the time of the year when a lot of the world is preparing for the (dare I say) Christmas holidays. Hanakkuh is also being celebrated. Even people who have no religious background or affiliation get into the season. It is hard to resist lights, trees, and presents. The commercial world is pumping out enticing ads and people are binge watching holiday movies. For most people the mood is bright.

Xmas-lights-2However, this can be a difficult time for some. Think about those for whom this time of year is hard. For the homeless it is just cold and miserable. We see them huddled on the streets and in cardboard boxes cringing away from the cold. Those who have lost loved ones during this season struggle with their loss. There are so many memories. People who are without family or friends see the season highlighting their loneliness.

This can be a wonderful time. Anticipation can be joyful. It can also be devastating. Look around you at those who suffer in Advent. What is coming for them can be sad and lonely. Do what you can to help.