Nurture those you care about

Today my son and daughter-in-law came over to help. She cleaned the bathroom like it had never been cleaned. WOW it is so amazing. My son mowed the lawn (which I had cut too long) edged and blew off the porches and walks.

This is so incredible and wonderful of them. They both work extremely long and difficult hours and have little spare time. I am so grateful for them taking their time to do this. How wonderful to have family and I love them so much.

It is a blessing to have family that cares. I know that all families have the kind of relationships that we have and I am so grateful. Many suffer from bad family relationships or abusive childhoods. Life is not great for everyone. I hope that they are able to find new friends who become family for them.

Friendships and family must be nurtured to grow. You can’t let the grass grow between you and your loved ones.. It doesn’t matter if you live next door or miles apart connections matter. Take the time to call, write, email, text, whatever. It pays off in the long run.

The always tasks

Today I had to cut the lawn. For my lawn this is a two hour job on a riding lawnmower. the weather was great but the mosquitoes about carried me off. I came in reeking of OFF and headed right to the shower.

Normally I like cutting the lawn as it is one of those jobs that you can see results as you go. Usually my husband like to do it but his health has halted that for now. I had waited too long to mow and the grass was really long. I had to mow some areas more than once to mulch the cut grass. Nevertheless it is done.

Not me but it could easily be.

This time of needing to do everything has been a challenge. One that I have met sort of. There are boxes that need to go to the dump piled up in the garage and that will hold for another day. I guess I didn’t realize all the things Hap was doing. I’m getting a dose of real appreciation for the things he did.

The good new is that I can look out at a beautifully cut lawn and enjoy the view. That is until it jumps out of the ground again. Some things never go away.

Is anyone listening? Yes!

How many of you are like me and don’t always really listen to what others are saying? While someone else is talking we are often formulating our response. It can be a rebuttal of something they said or an approval or a story we just thought of….whatever. The point is we are not really listening.

When my children were little I learned a skill called “active listening.” It has to do with repeating in some way what a person said. For example if I said “I would like to go to the beach today” you might respond “you are thinking about us going to the beach?”

This kind of listening lets the person know that they have truly been heard. I did it so much with my children that they started saying “you’re doing that thing again!” It did work though most of the time. I was able to get a clearer idea of what was going on in their minds.

I read something recently that said that this is a technique used by the FBI and that they call it mirroring.

It has occurred to me that being really heard is one of the reasons that the Word Press community is so compelling. By reading one an another’s thoughts carefully we are able to respond to the true thoughts of another. There is no question that we hear or that we are also heard. Reading the thoughts, problems, victories, joys and sorrows give us the ability to really absorb what has been said and respond.

That’s what makes this community so precious.

And try using mirroring or active listening and see what happens.

The change is us!

What is it like when the day begins with no plans? Every day the same. Nothing going on. The sameness creates ennui…nothing creates the desire to do nothing. We have to learn a new way to live.

That is how I was feeling when I got up this morning. Then the light bulb lit up. It is nice outside. Why not have my knit group meet on my porch where we can distance ourselves?

We can talk and knit and discover what has been going on with each other. I am sure we all have stories to tell. So I called them and that is what we are going to do tomorrow morning. We will meet, have lunch, learn the news from each other and feel like life is somewhat normal.

Just sitting in the boredom was definitely not the answer. It was time to do something about it. We just have to do it ourselves and in a safe way because this is how we have to continue. Life goes on.

Let impatience go

It is hard knowing that I am going to be living in confusion for a good while. I don’t like confusion. I like my life to be in order but that is not going to be. I know that it will all be worked out but I want it finished NOW!!

Patience is not one of my virtues. I am notoriously impatient. Maybe not as bad as some younger people since I didn’t grow up in an era when things happened over night. We did have to do a lot more waiting. Internet shopping was not available. Heavens we didn’t even have a TV until I was about 10. I have just learned to be impatient and now I have to move that away and think about how it used to be.

We were living at a very fast pace. The world was spinning more rapidly and getting faster all the time. This lull has taught us some things about patience. We have been waiting to get out and be with others. We still have to be very careful and wait. Now I have to put that into practise.

A need to remember

Life seems at a standstill. The weeks go by and very little changes. One week seems the same as another. There is nothing to differentiate the weeks. It feels very strange. Oh well. We are doing some things now so maybe next week will be different.

Life is full of colors. E... | Quotes & Writings by Amrita Nath ...

Different things happen is what marks time. It we do the same thing everyday they all blend into one another. Try and find some way to make each day just a little different so you can remember time passing.

Whether there is weather

I was wakened in the middle of the night by my Alexa light blinking at me. I asked it about the notification and was told that we had flash flood warnings. We are not in that area and I wasn’t thrilled but the light woke me.

It is amazing how much we all count on technology. I love Alexa and use it for all sorts of things from meditation to “what is the time, weather?’ I wouldn’t call myself addicted but it sure is handy.

When the power goes out we realize how much we depend on electricity in our homes. We are blessed to have a generator since we are in a hurricane area. It doesn’t work for the whole house but the parts that it does make storms livable.

Hurricane season is upon us and after what happened a few years ago I am not looking forward to it. I have to say though that I would rather than than a tornado. At least we can have time to get out of the way. Property may be lost but lives can be spared. I pray that this hurricane season doesn’t devastate anyone. Nature can be so unforgiving.

and fall

Since we have had such a difficult spring it would be nice to have summer and fall to recover.

The life of dogs

Like most dogs our two have interesting personalities. They definitely have minds of their own. Our female “Tillie” has decided that it would be a good idea to take pieces of her dry dog food and place them carefully on the rug next to my bed. Stepping on them unawares is not how I want to start my day.

Our male dog “Crash” likes to go into the bathroom and pull down the towels from the towel rack and just leave them on the floor. I don’t know why this is so amusing but I guess it satisfies something that he longs for.

Crash sleeps at night on the sofa and if we don’t remove one of the pillows that is in his way we get very dirty looks. Tillie sleeps in the bed and must have her own blanket to cover all but her head.

I am sure that our dogs rule the house. Everything must be done to assure their comfort. After all who is more important? Don’t they look innocent?

58 years and counting

Today it has been 58 years since we were married. Sometimes it seems like forever and sometimes just yesterday. For you young folks we were married in 1962. That will sound like an eon ago. The Viet Nam War was just hotting up. The Cuban Missile Crisis was in October of that year. We were at Ft. Benning and it looked like my 2nd Lieutenant husband might be going to war. Thank God that did not happen. The next event to shock us was that Kennedy was shot in November of 1963. Again things in the military were very uncertain. What a way to start married life.

However, we survived it. We had children, moved from place to place to include his two years in Viet Nam and ended his career with a high note teaching math at the United States Military Academy at West Point.

Our time since then has been living in Savannah, both of us working, me as a nurse and him as a structural engineer. Life has been good. We raised three children all married with children of their own and blessed be all gainfully employed (to include three of the grandchildren).

We had our ups and downs but I wouldn’t trade any of it. Now we look to the next chapter which is rocky at the moment but with planning will settle into a “new normal.” I have been blessed.