One day at a time. Don’t we all wish that we could live that way? To be able to shut our minds to the worries that plague us about the future. My grandmother loved to quote the Bible and always said:
Matthew 6:34
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
If only I could do that I am sure that life would be so much easier. Oh well, something to continue working on.
Grandmother also loved to say this to me:
Sometimes it feels as if I will never achieve some sort of normalcy in my life. I can go several days feeling well and settled and then IBSD hits me and I am back in the doldrums. I long for balance. I hope that I can find it before long. Maybe this is just the way that it will be as I continue to grow older. Maybe acceptance is the answer.
I wrote this poem when I was really low. It helps me to see how far I have come. It gives me hope for the times to come.
Grief hurts
It touches
The body
The mind
And the spirit
It’s toll
Can be felt
Everywhere
There is
no escape
no respite
no relief
It raises
I’s head
When least
Expected
And
Wipes away
Peace
Fear
Accompanies it
Casting long shadows
Making the world
Dull, grey
Hope is
Pushed aside
Lost
Will change
Ever come?
Hope ever
Return?
I cannot
See
If light
Is there
I only
Suffer
Each moment
And wait
There is a quote that says “if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans.” That has been true for me so many times. I thought I had most of my financial things all wrapped up and just found out today that the accountant I had doing things for me died. He was a wonderful man….joyful, kind and loved. My finances will work out but he will be missed.
Life is so uncertain. we never know what is coming next. I learned early that I am not in charge of life. It was a hard lesson but a necessary one. It is helpful to know that.
On Saturday mornings there is a meeting of the Knit Wits. This is a group who meets each week to enjoy each other, chat and like our grandmothers do hand work. One person was talking about when her father’s nursing home called to tell her he had passed away. The lady on the phone said “Your father has expired.” She replied “I didn’t know he had an expiration date.” There was silence for quite a while on the other end of the phone. I just loved that and it was my laugh for the day.
What do we do when life changes drastically? How do we learn to live differently? I am still figuring that out. Each day is a new way of thinking a new way of being. I haven’t entirely found myself in this new reality.
I have talked many times with others who have experienced something similar to my journey. They have the same feelings, the same questions, the same puzzling ups and downs. One day everything is so easy and the next is a struggle.
I know that there will be a time when I will know I have found myself. I will find myself whole and not living in several worlds.
Life is a journey and is always new. It is time to embrace it.
I have been absent for so long that I feel guilty. The life that I live now is so different than before. There are many good things that I do. I swim three times a week and it feels so good. I will be able to do that all year as the pool is inside.
There are so many different people here. It was founded by graduates of the University of Texas and we have lots of retirees who taught or held other jobs at the University. There are so many smart people who have held amazing jobs and traveled the world.
Sometimes I feel inadequate and provincial. However it is exciting to talk with those who have had such interesting lives.
I am still playing guitar in the band badly but no one notices. It is just a fun thing to do.
I still spend too much time reading or watching TV. I actually miss working in the yard. There was something therapeutic about it. I had such a sense of accomplishment.
Most days are good and I have new friends who are wonderful but there are times when the huge change in my life still overwhelms me.
My dog, Crash, is still with me and shares his love with me every day. I am so grateful for him.
I’m just resting my eyes
I am trying to get on a schedule with writing. I need it and miss all the connections I have made in the 5? years that I have been doing this. I want to keep in touch.
It’s time for me to think about the blessings in my life. I have lived 81 years with lots of love and caring both me for others and others for me. I was blessed by wonderful parents and grew up feeling safe and loved. In today’s world not many can say that.
I am living in a place that will keep me safe and secure for the rest of my days. Not many people can say that. I have so much to be thankful for.
It is so easy to get in the habit of dealing with the negatives in our lives and not spend any time think about what is good. We all have heard that we should concentrate daily on the good things but we let the bad take over.
I want to begin anew my “worry less journey” learning to be grateful each day. The down times may try to pull me away but I will find ways to let it go.
This very old song sums up my thoughts. (Johnny Mercer was a native from where I lived.. Savannah Ga)
Sometimes the simplest things help us more than anything. Last week I did something that made me feel happy. I had my nails done. A very small thing but I haven’t done this in several years. I didn’t have to do it but it made me feel spoiled and happy. This is not something that I will do all the time but this simple thing was important. My mood lightened and I felt so good about it.
There are many times where doing something just for ourselves can make a big difference. Take the time to recognize when you need to treat yourself…whether is it a bubble bath, a walk in the woods, or visiting a friend. It can make a huge difference!
I was supposed to take a train trip across Canada with my daughter and her family starting July 19th. After taking my husband’s ashes to Savannah for burial in the middle of June I was so emotionally drained that I couldn’t go. I was also battling IBSD and didn’t They are now home and all of them got covid on the trip. Obviously I made the right choice. I am sorry to have missed the vacation but I was certainly better off to not go. Fortunately none of them were very sick.
I have found a new counselor who is really wonderful and a great match for me. She is holding me accountable for doing the things I need to do to stay well and grounded. That is what I need.
Life goes on here with covid coming and going. We all need to learn how to live in this new world.
Today I read an article from the New York Times about a movement toward banning books. I am so sorry to see this ugly idea coming up again. The minute we begin to censor what people can read we are in danger. Having access to other’s ideas is critical to our freedom. People are kept in ignorance can be controlled. We have seen that before in history. As always those who don’t learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.
worry-less-journey 