Shoulds

How often in life do we hear the word “should?” For most of us our parents taught us there are some things we “should’ do and some things we ‘shouldn’t’ do. Those “shoulds” get caught up in our brains and spend time telling us what to do. Sometimes they are good thoughts but sometimes they are not. The “shoulds” can start to run/ruin our life.

'If you can't control your temper,sister,you shouldn't be playing this game!'“Shoulds” can also come from the outside. We often hear someone say “she “shouldn’t” do that.” Unfortunately we can be very quick to “should” someone. The word is used to tell us what some people think is the right thing. It is a form of judgement.

We have a lot of “shoulds” stored up in our brains. They can be very hard to get rid of. As a simple example when I was a child we “shouldn’t” wear white shoes before Easter and not after Labor Day. This very funny one has been hard for me to let go. I always think about it even though I live in the south and it is hot through September and we need to keep wearing summer clothes. (that edict also had to do with white pants and skirts) I no longer follow that “should” but I can’t get it out of my mind.

healWe have to learn to recognize when our programming is getting in the way of our living. The things that no longer apply or work need to be rooted out. We have to take a good look at the things from the past that make us feel guilty about what we do now. If those old “shoulds” are getting in the way they have to go. The trick is to recognize them. Find them and let them go!

2 thoughts on “Shoulds”

  1. I love how you write: We have to learn to recognize when our programming is getting in the way of our living. That is such a good way of phrasing it – “our programming.” I have been working really hard at eliminating the word “should” from my self-talk vocabulary. I like to say “don’t should yourself.” And I’ve changed to word “should” to “I would like to.” If I can stop shoulding myself, then I will be less likely to pass judgement on others, as well.

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