I was reading through my Quote Book (yes, I keep my favorite quotes in a journal) and starte thinking about this one.
In a time of universal deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act. George Orwell
What an amazing and true statement. I feel that we are living that right now. How much of what we hear is truth. Instead it is someone’s version of the truth. There is a big difference between those two things. When I was teaching a high school at the church one of the things I stressed was seeking truth…looking at all sides and any information available and making your own decision. Too little of that is done today. Most of what we hear could actually be classified as rumors.
It is important to teach our young people how to make assessments based on many sources before coming to any conclusion. There are too many talking heads and I am sure that there are no statesmen left…only politicians. That comparison can apply to any source from religion to politics to anything else. We must filter our information.
After spending the day yesterday going to the doctor today was a rest day. Excerpt for making lunch/supper I have done very little. I din’t even do the things that really need doing like vacuuming. It can wait. My mother used to say no gremlins will come and do it while you are not looking and it will still be there for you to do later.
Today I have taken that to heart. Next week should be a busy one and so today is to chill.
The last of my orchids to bloom is now open and beautiful. I had forgotten just how gorgeous it is. Orchids don’t bloom all the time but in intervals. When they do the blooms stay fro quite a long time. All of my are the grocery store variety…nothing special…but I do enjoy them.
This post should be a challenge since Word Press has decided to put us all in the new version. I have played with it a little and now I will have to dig in and see how it works.
Each day is a challenge. I never know what is coming next and I suspect that this is the “new normal” for me. Today is another Doctor’s visit. Each one heading toward some ideas of what things will be like from here on.
It rained hard night before last with lots of thunder and lightening. One of our bassets obviously had some trauma before we adopted him and he was up all night shaking and crying. We have tried some different meds some with no success and some with side effects we didn’t like. I wish we could help him. We do snuggle him but nothing stops the shaking.
Amazing how much like humans dogs are. If I have experienced the trauma that I’m sure he did I hate to think the condition I would be in. The up side is that both dogs sense when something is wrong and show their concern by coming close to add comfort.
I am sure that the dogs run the house. My husband doesn’t like to travel and leave them at home so he would rather stay home. He loves those dogs and they love him.
I don’t think I could live my life without a pet of some kind. I grew up with dogs, outdoor cats, chickens, ducks and turkeys. In college I had gold fish that I hauled back and forth during summer breaks. They lasted all four years. Funny, I don’t remember what happened to them after that. I suppose my mother took them since I married and moved away.
This covid confinement would have been much worse without our dogs.
Another Doctor visit today. One more step forward. Each one gives me a good feeling. At least we are getting things out of the way.
It is so frustrating to stay here day after day. I know that it is the same for everyone. Those of us who are risk will have to be careful for a good while. I am glad to see that some things are able to open and people will have jobs. To be out of work with lots of bills is a terrible place to be. My heart goes out to them. There are things that we can do to help. I hope you can find ways where you live to show caring. It is the most important thing to respect and have compassion for others. If everyone could do that the world would be a much better place.
During this crisis we have seen examples of caring and examples of selfishness. I hope the caring wins out.
Another week gone by. Funny, they all seem the same. Wait…they have been the same. Each day blends into the next. Around and around and around. The days are only different by thoughts and ideas. It is hard to know what day it is.
Why am I so lazy? So inclined to just sit and knit or crochet. It is getting something done but not with the energy I usually enjoy. Today I did some simple gardening. It was hot out and it didn’t take me long to be tired and overheated. A routine of exercises must be added to my days or I will become a painted picture attached to a chair with knitting in her hands. This is not me. Somehow the desire for more has to be re-established. Days where my sights are higher than that chair.
People around us are getting out more but they are not as at risk as we are. It is so strange to be in the “old and fragile” group, I have never thought of my self that way. My self image has been altered and I need to move back to the real me.
Sometimes the things that we think of as awful trials turn out to be a good thing. This virus has caused me to be at home. If I were able to go out I would feel trapped staying here with my husband every day. I would have to have someone in occasionally to be with him. Most of the time everything is fine but we never know when he will not be himself.
So this staying at home has been a blessing. Someone might call it a “left handed blessing” but a blessing none the less. As we are able to discover what is causing this up and down problem things may resolve. If not I will find options to functions as needed. We still have several doctors to see and answers to seek to help define our options.
So aggravating as this crisis has been it has, for me, been a time to share with my love however he might be. That’s all that matters.
Sometimes I forget to not leap ahead of myself but just concentrate on one thing at a time. Getting one thing done feels good. When I do I stop obsessing on the things not done.
A long time ago I worked for a company that handled case management for insurance companies. As nurses, we reviewed medical information and (the company was a good one) usually recommended doing the right thing. It costs less in the long run and that was how we explained it backing it up with figures.
While there a huge caseload was brought on to do with workers compensation from the state of Texas. I was handed that account. It was overwhelming. The amount of files on my desk was tremendous and daunting. After struggling with how to handle it I took the files and adjusted by date it came in and status of the patient. I stacked them up that way and just pulled one at a time. It was amazing how much I was able to get done once I stopped obsessing over how much there was.
Now as I face dealing with my husband’s medical issues I have realized that I have to do the same thing. Instead of worrying (useless) I have evaluated what needs to be done in what order and have started contacting doctors ect., setting appointments and moving ahead. We will solve things one at a time.
Every day is different. Today was a better than good day. That’s the way life is. You never know what is coming next. It is the uncertainty that gets us.
Not knowing answers to problems is the thing that is hard to take. I don’t think anyone likes it. When we can see the path in front of us life seems so much easier. We just want someone to turn the lights on the path so we can see ahead.
However, there are so many times in life when that is not possible. No matter what we always live without knowing what is ahead. The difference is we think that we do. We can see the day ahead with all its plans and we think that is what will happen. the truth is there are no guarantees. It’s funny how we perceive that we have control but really don’t. It is an important lesson learned when we realize that.
I hate sharing that things have been difficult at my house but I will share some of my thoughts. It seems it is necessary for me to write since that is my outlet.
My husband has not really recovered from his hospital stay. Initially his mental status was almost back to where he was but that has not lasted. He wavers from day to day. Some days are good and some are not.
The virus has made seeing doctors and determining the problem almost impossible. We move ahead one day and fall back the next. The hospital lost some of his ID’s and we just managed to replace his military ID thanks to the wonderful staff at the nearest post. They made getting a new one so easy! One thing accomplished.
As we manage appointments and see doctors as possible we will get closer to some resolution. Knowing what is going on will be so helpful. This day to day fluctuation is so frustrating.
We are keeping on keeping on and I know that someday there will be answers. This would happen when there is so little to do about it. If only we could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know there is a light!