life lessons

This morning I was thinking about what a difference there is when you lose a spouse. I can only see it from my own perspective but having been married for so long it has made me feel lost. For the first time in my life I feel completely alone.

This does not mean that I am alone. My family is wonderful and I have friends from my longtime home and caring friends and neighbors here. However, there is the sensation that I am totally alone for the first time in my life.

I have lost people in my life: parents, relatives, friends. I miss them and feel the lost connection but I never felt lost myself. With this loss there comes the severing of years of closeness. There is now no one who knows me as well as my husband. The years of memories have lost the person who held them too. No one else can relive those with me. Just the ability to say “remember when” and be understood is gone.

My grandmother, at one hundred, said there was no one who she could talk to about her past and share those memories. Now I understand.

We do grow with each experience in life. Some of the most painful produce the most change and the most empathy. Life is always teaching us. We just have to use that wisdom to reach out to others.

14 thoughts on “life lessons

  1. When I lost my husband many years ago, I was completely lost. I understand how you are feeling. I remember feeling so many things that you are feeling. He was the one I leaned on for everything. My heart goes out to you. Just take it one day at a time. Sending well wishes πŸ’–

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  2. I can’t imagine how hard and lonely it would be – especially at our time in our life. I wonder if it would help for you to write in your blog about some of the times you shared with your husband over the years? (If you are ready to face the memories) I don’t know when you began blogging but I have only read blogs about your last year or so together. I would really enjoy reading about some of your earlier times. πŸ’ž

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      1. I am sure a lot of people would enjoy having you share them (if you are comfortable doing so. I follow Derrickjknight. He has an amazing blog and garden! Right now he is sharing some of his life stories. They are fascinating. Definitely a world away from mine but the ups and downs are compelling and relatable somehow.

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