Why now?

Doesn’t it seem that everything happens at once? We go along with what we call normal and then everything changes. I have often been struck by the song “What a difference a day makes” and how true it is. Life is ever changing but some changes are more drastic than others. For someone to suddenly die is huge.There is no normal. For two years I worked with a grief support group and saw each of them grow into an “new normal.” For those of us who make plans and projections way down the road seeing lives turned upside down in one moment is frightening. The road ahead is no longer clear.

The thing is if we just live in the moment then the next doesn’t really matter. To say I am here right now alive and fully present is enough. This journey is about absorbing that truth and living it out.

Since January of this year my life has been drastically changed. Why is for another day. That change is what has me on this journey. It was not of my choosing. Grief, anxiety and much change have brought me to this place. Recently I wrote a poem about this grief and the grief of those in the support group.

Someone once said
Grief is a gift
But who would
Want it

Who would want
To lose love
And find yourself

The tears fall
Ever easy
Cleansing, freeing but
Grief stays

It hovers
Ever watchful
For the narrow crack
And slides easily in

How can this be
A gift received
and acknowledged

Why should it
Be accepted

But see
If love is absent
Grief is stayed
No involvement

Only love’s absence
Brings grief
And without love
There is no gift