The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Lao Tzu
The difficulty for me is not taking the first step but continuing steps. I start out with enthusiasm and plans but don’t follow through. I am hoping that writing this blog every day will give me the push I need to keep going.
Throughout our lives we are given advice about how not to worry. “Just let it go…..put it out of your mind…think about something else….just keep on keeping on.” I’m sure that anyone could add many things to that list.
I took intensive yoga for two years when yoga was not popular. The teacher was a master at teaching and we spent almost two hours each class which allowed us to meditate at the end for thirty minutes or more. I was able to fall into a deep mediation and at times felt myself lift off the floor and float in the air. My teacher had surgery without anesthesia by meditating. If I had kept practicing I could have thrown the worry out the door years ago. We moved…I had another teacher…good but not as skilled and my enthusiasm faded. I picked back up and attended the Yoga Seminary of New York which was amazing. It was an ashram and had both yoga and teaching of the Bhavagad Gita with Swami Pravananda. (Forgive me if I didn’t remember his name correctly) The experience was amazing. Again, I was back on track and taught yoga for a while until we moved again. It seems that I can hold on to something as long as I have a rope to hold on to but just drop it on my own. Discipline is not my middle name.
It is so easy to drift back into old habits. Changing habits is so very hard. I have the phrase “I am alive today- right now-this moment.” I am using it whenever my mind begins to head off into worry. I don’t know how many have read Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence but I need to keep it close at hand and think about him often. Every task he did be it washing dishes or digging in the garden was done to the glory of God and his mind was on this fact. Obviously worry was not an issue for him.
I have started taking a few moments each day….this is about all I can tolerate…. to sit in silence and just breathe. I hope that I can increase the time as my tolerance increases. I hope to move myself gently into a new way of being. Spending time with ourselves can be scary. We may learn things we didn’t want to know but how else can we learn who we really are?