Through the memories

bad and good memoriesOur memory is an amazing thing. We have so many triggers to bring a memory to light. I live on the salt marsh. As I have mentioned that smell triggers good memories for me. Having been a nurse there are some smells that trigger bad memories.

Smell is not the only thing that can generate memory. There are certain songs that will bring a wave of nostalgia and the memory is so clear that I have been pulled into it.

Memories can be positive or negative. If we have PTSD the memories that we see are not pleasant. I have memories of panic attacks and anxiety from IBSD that come back when something reminds me of them.

We can’t always choose which memories float to the surface but we can use the tools that we have learned to mitigate their power. If I am some place public I will try breathing slowly and concentrating on my breath. Sometimes I am able to find something distracting to shift my focus and help me push the bad feelings away.

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Good memories are a blessing and we want to wallow in them. It is wonderful to do so. Bad memories are the ones we have to find ways to travel through without the pain. Use whatever tools you have to live through those moments and each time you do you will be stronger.

Handle with care — Kari-ing On— this is an excellent post

I have never given much thought to the power that words and actions can have on one’s mental state. But as of recently, things that people have done for me or said to me have changed my outlook on my whole day (either good or bad). I know I need to depend on the hope […]

via Handle with care — Kari-ing On

The chicken was cold

Recently my daughter prompted me to write some of the stories about my father. He was a brilliant man who never had an opportunity for education past high school He read everything he put his hands on and never stopped learning. This story is one I love. I think it was about the 1930’s.

pat clark standing on stump
My father Pat Clark A man who always shared happiness

 

My grandmother raised chickens. When one was wanted for dinner a chicken was killed by her, cleaned and prepared for dinner. My parents and grandparents lived in the same house. For some reason my mother and grandmother were very busy and asked my father to kill a chicken for dinner. They asked the man who hated to swat a fly.

My father went out the back door. He was gone for a long time. The two cooks started to wonder what was taking him so long.

Eventually my father returned with the requested chicken. It was dead, had its feathers, but it was cold.

My father, unable to kill a chicken, had gone to the grocery and bought one. In that era they sold chickens freshly killed but not cleaned. My mother and grandmother refrained for commenting and went on to prepare the chicken for dinner.

Seeking calm

are-you-an-authentic-empath-watch-for-these-12-strange-behaviors-2I am tired. I have realized that the tiredness is coming from the emotional roller coaster I have been on lately. When we have done physical work or completed a project we can be tired but it is a satisfying tired. It feels good. This is not that. This tired is totally enervating. It has drained me to my core.

When we are truly empathetic we experience the feelings and aura of those around us.  Recently the strain that my friends have been under and the energy I have expended has taken all the oomph out of me. However I hope we are now on the upswing and that things are getting better.

Tomorrow I will be able to work in the yard. Although this is tiring it is the good kind of tired. It will produce a sense of pleasure and satisfaction. I have complained about the yard work but you can actually see the progress and that is something.

Lately I have taken little time for myself and I will address that in the coming week. I would like to see some “normal” but you never know when you will have to adjust to a “new normal.”

calmFinding things that bring us peace and calm are so important. Reading help me and just sitting on the porch and enjoying the outdoors. Each of us needs to find what can help when things get overwhelming. Not caring for ourselves will bring on anxiety, panic and depression. Not something we want to do.

What helps to bring you some peace and calm?

God laughed

Sometimes there is nothing that you can do and it is frustrating. My great grandson is supposed to come here for his baptism. That is the plan since this is where my granddaughter was baptized. We wanted to do this before my husband’s knee surgery in September but you all know about the best laid plans. The biggest problem is the great grandmother (me). I want someone special to do the baptism but everyone I want is gone until after the surgery date. I don’t take this well. Why can’t my plans work? Is it me? Phooey!

Now I have to rethink everything and just look at what is possible. I am fighting myself since this is not what I want to do but whatever. It is always said if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans. Well…I did.

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For someone who likes things to fall into place this is making me sad, frustrated and anxious. So silly but there it is. I know that there will be a plan that works and that I need to give in and make an new plan. One that I hope doesn’t make God laugh.

In the meantime I will sulk and fight my feelings but life will go on. Knowing that life is about change and that it will work out once I let go and let God.

Days have attacked!

one day at a time
Jane Seabrook

This sums up what my last two week have been like. With one friend’s husband dying and helping with funeral plans etc and the other having to re-admit her husband to the hospital it has been a zoo. Yesterday I had a good day planned with early yard work, shower and if lucky a massage. Needless to say that went away quickly when after my shower I had to get back in the car and head to the hospital as surgery was planned. I got home at 7:30. They are wonderful loving friends and I will be there for them but I am feeling attacked.

I have learned in my life that there is nothing in the world that can replace good friends. Right now I am the one helping but at some time it will be the other way around and they will be there.

I grew up in an era when favors were paid back to the person you “owed.” If you couldn’t do something for them you felt guilty. This is not how life works. I have lived in many different places and helped others or they helped me. I couldn’t return the favor to them but payed it forward to someone else. This is how it should be. We should be ready to share ourselves when someone is in need. Moving forward someone else may do the sharing for us.

Life is too short to worry about who has helped who. (should that all be whom??) Whom cares!

Friendships are formed when we are willing to share… not only help but also ourselves. It is openness that people respond to. Value the friendships that you have. Good friends are a gift.

The butterfly effect

the butterfly effect
Every single thing you do matters. You have been created as one of a kind. You have been created in order to make a difference. You have within you the power to change the world.

We tend to think that we have little impact on the world around us. Do we matter at all? Is what we do significant? To answer these questions I say that I believe in the “butterfly effect.” If you have never heard that phrase it means that every action of everything in the world has an effect on the rest of the world.

That means that my choices have great significance. The choice may just be getting up in the morning but somehow this will make a difference. This fits in nicely with science that says that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. I do understand this but this is not where I am going exactly.

This week I have been writing about the importance of each of our lives. It is so easy to be down on ourselves and not be able to see that we have any impact in the world. It is not true. Everything matters. Everyone matters. Whether you believe in a god or not I’m sure that you believe that each of us is unique. There will never be another duplicate. Even if cloned the person’s experience will not be the same creating a different person altogether.

no one is you.jpg

This reminds us again that we are important. If we share our insights…the things we have learned from our own particular experiences we will make a difference in the world.

Understand you are important…no matter your flaws or problems. You matter to the world!