oopsIt is amazing to me how closely linked my anxiety is to my IBSD. There is a connected pathway between the two. It goes both ways. For the last few days I was really stupid and didn’t take some of my medicines.  The results were what you would expect. I ended up with a bad episode. It’s what happens when you get disorganized and don’t follow your regimen. Now I’m suffering for it.


It shows how life goes along just fine and then we ignore what we need and we bear the results. I know there are people who don’t deal with issues such as this but no one is perfect and they have other things to deal with. Life is never perfect and we would be bored to death if it were. It would be like living in Pleasantville (old movie). Nothing changed and life was desperately ordinary.


Sometimes it is hard to cope with the things that plague us but most of the time I can see other problems that I wouldn’t want. I once went to a lecture where the presenter asked everyone to write their biggest problem on a piece of paper and pass it to the front. She then asked who wanted to come up and take someone else’s problem. No one did. Like it or not we have a relationship with ourselves and have developed the coping skills to mitigate our health issues.

Each of us has the life we have been given and our purpose is to make the best of it that we can. This means continuing to learn, grow and live!

Closer or further apart?

I was remembering this song by the Kingston Trio from my college days.. 1960’s.
They’re rioting in Africa
They’re starving in Spain
There’s hurricanes in Florida
And Texas needs rain
The whole world is festering with unhappy souls
The french hate the Germans, the Germans hate the Poles
Italians hate Yugoslavs, South Africans hate the Dutch
And I don’t like anybody very much!!
But we can be tranquil and thankful and proud
For man’s been endowed with a mushroom-shaped cloud
And we know for certain that some lovely day
Someone will set the spark off
And we will all be blown away!!
They’re rioting in Africa
There’s strife in Iran
What nature doesn’t so to us
Will be done by our fellow man
scary world 1
The sad part about this song is that is it still true. The line: The whole world is festering with unhappy souls, especially strikes me. It is so sad that song was written over 50 years ago and nothing has changed. I guess at the time I really thought that the world would be a better place but it’s possible that it is worse.
It does seem logical that with the enormous population growth and the availability of information at our fingertips we would either draw closer together or further apart. Maybe both things are happening. (if you can hold two opposite things at once)
japanIf only our accessibility to the world would grant us better understanding. If the population continues to grow at this rate we will have to learn to live together or die out. My daughter lived in Japan for a while and experienced the way that people living in such juxtaposition to each other have learned to manage by their awareness of personal space and their ability to center down into themselves among others.
We have to learn new ways to love and accept each other. Life depends on it.

Moderates are extinct

In America the president reigns for four years and journalism governs for ever and ever.-—Oscar Wilde

I am constantly frustrated by the fact that the press in so biased. I don’t care if you are right or left politically. It doesn’t matter. Either way you are bombarded with news that is so slanted as to be unbelievable. I am not sure but that the press rules the country.

I am a moderate in thinking, and I hope, action. I am almost extinct. A creature dying out. It seems that there is no one concerned about what is best for this country or its people but only that their opinion rules.


Elected officials used to vote on issues based on its merits. That doesn’t happen any more. We no longer have statesmen, only politicians. I know that our founding fathers and spinning in their graves. They imagined a congress where people left their jobs temporarily and served for a short time and returned home. Now we have members who have been there for many, many years.

The government has totally lost judgment, responsibility and critical thinking. I would bet that the most intelligent and moral individuals would run the other way if asked to serve.I hope that somehow reason raises its head but I have my doubts. The country seems to be dumbing down on knowledge and entertainment is king.

Now I have had my rant for the day.

I hope the rest of your week-end is wonderful!


The Sunshine Blogger Award

I was surprised and honored to be nominated Lynda Estacio. Thank you Lynda, If you haven’t read her blog please check it out. https://writingoutmystorms.com/

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you and link to their blog.
  • Display the Sunshine Blogger Logo in your post or on your blog.
  • List the rules in your blog post.
  • Answer the 11 questions that are provided to you by the blogger who nominated you.
  • Nominate 11 bloggers.
  • Provide your nominees with 11 questions (different from the ones you answered).

Here are my nominees:












Here are my answers to her questions.

  1. What’s your favorite type of weather?

For outside – sunny breezy, to watch from inside thunder storms.

  1. How many books are you reading right now, and what are they?
  1. Tea Time for the Traditionally Built by Alexander McCall Smith (love these–full of wisdom but fun);
  2. Traitorous Toysby Mildred Abbott (fun, silly mystery;
  3. Falling Upward by Richard Rohr (theology);
  4. Poems by Emily Dickinson – Three Series – Complete;
  5. Accidental Saints by Nadia Bolz-Weber (religion);
  6. When Women were Priests by Karen Jo Torjessen (history of women in the church). I read various ones in spurts
  1. How do you unwind/destress?

Reading, stupid TV shows like baking stuff. Sitting on the porch and just being.

  1. If you could take a trip anywhere in the world, but you could not choose the season, where would you go?

New Zealand

  1. What is one dish you wish you had the time or talent to make yourself?

I am a really good cook and can make almost anything, but I can’t make biscuits. Oh, how I wish I could. I have tried so often but they come out like hockey pucks.

  1. If all the barriers were taken away (financial/stress/etc), would you want to go back o school to study anything? If so, what?

Psychology, psychiatry

  1. Do you have a favorite exercise/physical activity? What is it?

Walking the dogs and gardening. The gardening I do is strenuous work.

  1. Where is your “happy place”?


  1. What dreams or goals do you have for your blog?

I just want it to help those who read it and hope to share some wisdom from my 77 years.

  1. What led you to starting a blog?

My job as a Parish Nurse was ended abruptly and I needed to express myself in some way.

  1. What is your favorite quote right now?

“Toward all that is unsolved in your heart be patient. Try to love the questions. Do not seek the answers which cannot be given; you would not be able to live them. Live everything. Live the questions now; you will then gradually without noticing it live into the answers some distant day.”  Ranier Maria Rilke

Now here are my questions.

(by the way, I had trouble thinking of them…so answer if you want.)

  1. If you could be any age what age would you be and why?
  2. Where is your “sacred space?” The place where you feel centered/at peace.
  3. Are you growing emotionally/intellectually or are you stuck?
  4. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
  5. Who is your favorite writer?
  6. What was your childhood like? Good, bad, indifferent?
  7. What is your favorite thing to do?
  8. What is your favorite type of music?
  9. If you could meet and talk with someone living or dead who would it be?
  10. How would you describe yourself in one word?
  11. Have you always lived in one place?…town, city, country?

Journey = Strength

I read most of the daily meditations from Richard Rohr. He talks a lot about contemplation or meditation. Those of us in the Western world don’t have a long history with meditation as a practice. We believe in action and our actions can be good but we don’t understand just letting ourselves reach for something beyond.


However, he feels that those who have lived lives with much struggle are better at reaching out for God/other. Anxiety, OCD, Bipolar, and depression are just some of the things that made us the way we are. The struggles have caused us to be more introspective and insightful as we meditate. Mental health issues make you question your thinking and wonder about how your mind functions.

The downside is that sometimes we are unable to quiet our minds long enough to reach any kind of meditative state. Learning to reach inside calmly and peacefully may not be possible at times.


Functioning with mental health problems does create an amazing strength and large toolbox of coping mechanisms. Know that your strength is the gift that the struggle brings and let yourself know how unique and powerful your journey has made you.

Flash Fiction Challenge –the Mirror

Challenge from the Fractured Faith Blog.

The window of the train reflects my image like a mirror. It is not the same image I saw before I left home. This image is distorted and out of focus. So is my life. Yesterday was the end of “me.” I have no framework for my life now. It all ended in the mirror. I watched it break as my husband shattered it with his hand. He missed me and hit the mirror. The shock of it make him back away and look at his hand. Blood was seeping from the small cuts. He turned, walked from the room. I heard the creak on the stairs as he headed downstairs and out the door. My shock over the last few moments left me sitting just staring at the mirror. The reflection in the glass was as broken as was my life. I knew it was over and moving on was my only choice. Now I look out the window on the train and know that the distortion is my life now. I drop the train ticket from my hand. It’s over.

Learning to see yourself

It is really sad that our culture wants to find ways to put people down. They are too fat, too thin, too poor, strangely enough- too rich, too sad, too ugly, too drunk all the time….I could go on and on. My experience over the years has been that those judgments are made to move the viewer up one notch…..”I am not that fat, thin, old, ugly….etc. By comparing myself with you I can make myself feel better. The actual problem lies with their own self esteem.


We each want to feel good about ourselves and in some part it can be enhanced by how others see us. We all need positive affirmation. We especially need someone who can reflect our goodness back to us. We are communal people and yes,  we want others to like us.

Only someone who is totally secure in themselves can survive without affirmation. It is the rare person who can achieve that kind of security in themselves. (or someone who is a narcissist or a sociopath)

All of this is why we need to stay with those who support and uphold us. People who tear us down and are negative need to be let go. We don’t need that in our lives. Some people can seem to be supportive but are really undermining your self esteem in subtle ways. Beware of them. They are probably the most subversive and worm their way in by seeming kind. Turn away from them.

images (1)We grow and strive toward acceptance of ourselves and if we are blessed we achieve some achievement of that as we grow older. I almost think it takes age for us to realize our own worth and not depend so much on others. If we do it earlier we are rare.


Learning to understand and appreciate ourselves and our abilities is a lifelong journey. Each life lesson brings us closer. Keep learning and growing.